Group’s Distrust of Trust Exercise Causes Mistrust
Have you ever been asked, “Don’t you trust me?” The first inclination for many is to not trust. Why? The hero/villain in many movies have voiced these words to heighten the drama because trust requires risk. It doesn’t matter if it’s a hot tip from a stockbroker, a dietician promising weight loss, or a friend persuading you to ride a scary rollercoaster, at some point you must take a leap of faith.
Recently, four individuals who are considered “trust-strugglers” participated in a group exercise with the trust fall. This is where you cross your arms in front of your body and fall backwards, dropping helplessly towards the floor. If everything goes right, someone will be there to catch your fall.
Jocelyn Martin was one of the group members who didn’t like this exercise, but did what she was told because she trusts her therapist. “I didn’t know the person at all instructed to catch me, but I trusted that he would do what he was told.” Martin added, “But at the end of the day, how is this going to help me trust my boyfriend not to cheat?”
Many scientists believe that “trust falls” give “false representations” of the concept of trust, which is actually “not something that we can or should just give away.”
However, other scientists believe that “trust falls” provide useful reflection into one’s own character. “The purposes has not been to build trust, but to highlight how challenging it can be to give your trust to another.”
Martin thoughtfully reflected on his information and said, “That’s bullshit. I already know I can’t trust him. I don’t need someone nearly dropping me on my ass to highlight that.”
Scientists had no advice to give Martin other than perhaps this isn’t the right relationship for her and she might need to trust that little voice inside telling her she can’t trust her boyfriend.