Things are getting good on Family Therapy with Dr. Jenn! It’s day six and it’s official, Tiffany is about to become someone’s baby-momma. And she is scared out of her mind. Will it be fun? Rachel the resident assures Tiff it will be hard work. Now Tiffany is more scared. She tells Dr. Jenn she wasn’t planning on this, but the father is a “good guy.” Tiffany and Dr. Jenn decide to surprise Sister with the bundle of joy news at group – because that’s the worst idea ever. They should leave a note and go on a group field trip without Sister.
Bam and his mom April are hanging out by the pool. Bam asks when the last time was they were able to hang out for two weeks. April says when Bam was 8. Bam is looking better; less bloated. April asks her son to find some new friends that aren’t drunk jerks. Perfect time for their one-on-one with Dr. Jenn. Where did it all go wrong, Dr. Jenn asks? Bam says at first it was just drinking, then drinking and cocaine, then drinking, cocaine, and Adderall. Then his bff Ryan died in a car crash and he was doing all that to cope, not to have fun. Now, Bam can only count on his buddy Johnny Walker. He knows Ryan would want better for him, though.
Group time! Today’s topic is: Secrets. Dun-dun-duuun. Secrets can create resentment, but let them go and it will set you free. Take it away Tiff. Tiffany says, “Blah, blah, blah, I know I can count on everyone’s support, blah, blah, blah, I’m five weeks pregnant.” Everyone applauds except one person, and I don’t need to tell you who that one person is. Dr. Jenn asks Sister how she feels about this news, and Sister says, don’t tell me how to feel. Umm, she wasn’t. The answer is, Sister don’t know how she feels, but secretly she’s plotting to take the baby away.
Damon Dash talks about his girlfriend Aaliyah who died in a plane crash and his mother who has also passed, and feels he loses the females he cares about. Dr. Jenn tells Damon his secrets are what he doesn’t express, effecting his ability to feel empathy with his brothers. Dr. Jenn and Dr. Conte both explain to Damon you can’t go around the pain, you have to go through it. That’s deep, but will Damon listen?
Moving on with other secrets, it’s April’s turn. Don’t mind her eye, it just looks like she cut it. Her secret was lying years ago to Leeza Gibbons during an interview when she was included on a best mom segment. When Leeza asked what Bam had gotten her for mother’s day, April lied and said flowers, when she should have said, showers, because Bam really got his mother not a damn thing. Dr. Jenn gives her some tough love and tells April she’s a martyr-mom. She needs to ask for what she wants and not always take the scraps. April’s dream mother’s day would be dinner out with Bam when he’s not trashed.
Bam announces he has a secret. My mind jumps to a health announcement because Bam said it effected everyone and I thought he was including the camera crew and producers and residents when he said everyone, like another Evel Dick moment. Turns out, Bam snuck in a bottle of vodka and has been hiding it in his closet, but he didn’t drink it – so yay Bam! He and Dr. Jenn pour it out together. Michael congratulates Bam on coming clean. They discuss how surprised they were Sister Patterson didn’t start flipping tables during the pregnancy announcement.
Back in Tiffany’s room, Sister is a cat on a hot tin roof. God, will play this out, she proclaims. Tiffany is now questioning her decision to tell her mom at all. This is stressing her out and that’s not good for the baby.
The following morning is a mini-session with Dr. Jenn, Tiffany and Sister is conducted. Sister knows how she feels now. Nothing. According to the gospel of Sister, Tiffany is not pregnant. As her mother, she would know if her daughter was pregnant. And she doesn’t know that. Dr. Jenn explains the pregnancy test said yes. This surprises Sister. She didn’t know her daughter took a pregnancy test. And if she didn’t know this, is it possible Sister doesn’t know everything? Hell, no. Sister is a woman firmly entrenched in denial. But Sister leaves with these parting words, if Tiffany is pregnant, that baby is going to be hers, like this is some kind of Disney movie.
Tiffany can only laugh as her mother leaves, but it’s nervous laughter. Dr. Jenn and Tiff take a moment to make sure they are no longer in Bizarro-land, then Dr. Jenn hugs Tiffany and tells her she has her complete support.
Tonight there’s a group activity I am so jealous of. Handwriting analysis! Won’t this be fun. The participants were asked to write something in a journal, only it’s not about what they wrote, but how they wrote. This science is legit! Bart Bagget is a forensic handwriting analyst and he is a sassy fellow – I love him! Can we keep him? Here are the results:
April – very nurturing and hyper controlling
Bam – would rather be respected than liked
Damon – domineering quality based in fear which makes him hesitant
Tiffany – unnatural attraction to failing, any attention is good attention
Bart says Tiffany’s fear of success come from over-mothering. The whole time Sister has been saying, oh-no, to everything coming out of Bart’s mouth. When Dr. Jenn points out some of the reality shows Tiffany’s been on, Sister gets defensive. Those were strategic failures, there’s a difference. Sister tells Bart he’s unprofessional and Bart tells Sister she’s obnoxious. Game, set, match.
Sister – bossy and dominant with no social boundaries
Sounds pretty dead on if you ask me. Bart asks Michael if Sister is bossy and Sister tells Michael not to answer – so Bart has his answer.
Dina – has self-deceit, is a perfectionist and control freak with an inner tornado
She doesn’t believe a word of this, but Michael thinks Bart is the smartest guy he’s ever met. Bart explains that Dina doesn’t see the real reality like the rest of us do. He says Michael and Dina are equally whiny and should have never gotten married. Finally! Something everyone can agree on.
Afterwards, Sister crawls into her bed, but is still very upset about the man who spoke to her like a dog. He doesn’t know her. He’s a liar. How dare he. Sister tells Tiffany, “Shut up ugly. Get the freak out of here.”
But Tiffany doesn’t leave. Sister does. Tiffany lies down, and after flashbacks of her difficult mother are shown, she’s dizzy and not feeling well. Dr. Jenn comes to check on her and they decide Tiffany needs to go to the hospital and only Dr. Jenn will go with her. Dr. Jenn says it’s because Sister can’t be counted on for support, but she can be counted on for making this all about herself. Good luck dealing with Sister when you get back from seeing the doctor, that’s all I got to say.
Tune in next week when Brittany and Briana’s mom tells the girls, “They can’t handle the truth!”