On this week’s episode of Family Therapy, Dr. Conte checks in on Bam and the cut to his hand he received from the smash house. Bam has done so much to his body on Jackass, this little cut is nothing. Now, if this was the Lohan’s we’d need to get the lawyers. Dr. Conte and Bam discuss finding reasons not to drink instead of the other way around. Sister asks Bam to pray with her, so Bam says, why the hell not, he’s done weirder shit. Bam feels the weight lifted. Hallelujah!
The Dash brothers are struggling to communicate and still hold resentment from the past. Damon doesn’t get why his brothers doesn’t want to work together anymore. Bobby would have loved for things to work out, who doesn’t like money, but he had to step off because it just didn’t work out. Translation: Damon used the money as power and control over them. Damon won’t drop it that Bobby won’t fight for it. Bobby is tired of fighting.
Its’ group time! We have a financial and relationship expert with the group, Marilyn Logan. Marilyn asks the group to raise their hands if they’ve ever made a financial mistake. Everyone raises their hand except Sister. Marilyn tells Tiffany she’s heard she’s going to be a new mom. Tiffany says she has plenty of time to prepare even though her crazy mom never taught her nothing about money and has a bit of a shopping addiction. Sister denies this and wants to know why Tiffany is airing the dirty laundry she just purchased. Tiffany reveals that she learned more about money from her grandmother.
Michael is next and explains that working on Wall Street it was up $10K one day, down $20K the next. Dina says they were on a money roller coaster ride. Michael admits he wielded money as a way to control Dina and should have done more for the kids. Dina thanks Michael for being honest, then accuses him in the very next breath of lying. Michael says at first he was angry with Dina, but later he was only angry with himself. Dr. Jenn practically gives Michael a standing ovation for his growth.
Bam keeps smiling at Marilyn because he is hell with money. He has a problem with missing flights, not cancelling them, purchasing new tickets, and destroying hotel rooms. April handles Bam’s money. Bam tells him mom to let him lose it, then he’ll learn. Marilyn thinks Bam he’s very smart (when not drunker than Cooter Brown) but here’s where it goes south. Michael, who was doing so well, opens his big fat mouth and asks (in an accusatory tone) why hasn’t his parents taught Bam how to handle money. April gets defensive, and hell yeah! I wish she would have said, “Why haven’t you taught your kids a dams thing, Michael?” Bam has no clue which bank his money is in.
After group, Michael and Bam discuss how Bam managed to spend $40K on the destruction of one hotel room. This is Rolling Stones territory and there were originally five of them, but cut the guy some slack, would you. Bam was in the mood to throw paint. He’s creative like that. Michael can’t believe it. He likes hanging out with someone who is more irresponsible with money.
Next, Bobby sits down with Michael and asks if he’d like to get back with Dina. He says, yeah, if things were different. Things like, not already having a wife and two little kids, but hey, details. Thank goodness it’s time for a mini-session for Dina and Michael. Dr. Jenn is ready to call bullshit on Dina and praise Michael for his hard work. Dina tries to interrupt, but Dr. Jenn doesn’t let her.
Michael shares a story about how years ago he was watching his kid’s soccer game and Dina’s two bodyguards (she needed two?) approached Michael while he was just watching, minding his own damn business. Dina tries to make excuses, make it about her, and claim it was in the past, but obviously it’s not. You see, from time to time the ice queen gets a tear in her eye – own it Dina!
Later that day, Jeremy and Bobby are working out, discussing Damon’s god-complex. Inside, Dr. Conte is having a mini-session with Damon, whose pants are falling down. Pull your damn pants up, fool. Damon explains that if his brothers would just see things his way, things would be cool. Dr. Conte says Damon only sees things in black or white and part of therapy is seeing the gray. Ain’t no therapist making Damon see the gray. Gray sucks. Purple’s cool. Red’s cool. But ain’t no gray in the streets, except for the cement. Dr. Conte says something quite minor, about gaining strength from men by stepping back, but it’s a breakthrough. Damon has an epiphany and is ready to let the healing begin with his brothers. Dr. Conte runs to get them before this moment passes.
Bobby says he’s struggling with Damon’s lack of respect and understanding. Damon explains the color theory, but Bobby points out that seeing only black and white pushes them away. Jeremy says for him, the negative feelings stem from their father and Damon’s resentment that he opened 24 gifts at Christmas while Damon only got a book. Jeremy says it’s not his fault he was the favorite. Damon says he wishes he would have gotten this thing called color therapy sooner.
The crew is going on a field trip to the Pig & Whistle. The comedian emcee has apparently been hired to roast the castmates. He tells Bam he looks like Bam ate Bam. Not funny. Then he picks on Damon, but he doesn’t crack, even though Damon probably wants to choke the emcee who laughs like a dying goose. April agrees to go on stage and is funny! She makes a joke about Bam losing everything but her phone number. Ba-dum-tisk. Bam was so impressed he tries it, and is pretty good. Damon, after being badgered, tries it and says they are all going to heal, get their therapy and get the hell out of there. Then he drops the mic, but he was only so-so on the funny scale.
Finally we get to meet Bam’s dad Phil who was ridiculed time and time again on Bam’s television show. Phil waddles in and hugs his wife and son. He seems like a jolly old man who chuckles a lot. April explains that due to their damage controlling and enabling ways, their son doesn’t undestand consequences. Phil explains that Bam “calls up screaming, saying take care of it, so what are you going to do, ha-ha.” Dr. Jenn demonstrates how to hang up a phone. We learn that Phil is the biggest enabler of all. He wants to be Switzerland, but Switzerland is about as safe as Afghanistan, Dr. Jenn points out.
They discuss the story of Incinerator Row and Phil laughs at the good times he had by scaring the shit out his son. Dr. Jenn asks Phil to quit laughing. The truth is, Phil laughs because if he doesn’t, he’ll cry. Then all three start crying at the thought of losing Bam. Now they are one step closer to being a healthy family. This therapy stuff is confusing.
Tune in next week for the season finale of Family Therapy with Dr. Jenn. Some have healed, but most have not.
Missed last week? Catch up here at Smash House.