Comedy Cooking for the Cooking Impaired

Comedy CookingWelcome cooking impaired! Today we will be making a jalapeno cheese beer bread. This will be fun. It took two store trips for this recipe, but that’s just me. I didn’t realize the sharp cheddar and beer needed to be supplied by me. No problem with the beer, but who keeps sharp? So here are the items:

CC Store stuff

From Store:

1 – HEB Jalapeno Cheddar Beer Bread mix

2 – 12oz. Beer (only 1 is for recipe)

3 – Tbs Unsalted Butter (or less) Melted

¾ – Sharp Cheddar

Officially the sharp cheddar is “optional” due to the mix’s cheese “flavoring” but this is the south and extra cheese is a requirement. Also, feel free to pick any kind of fancy lager you want.

From Home:CC Well

Loaf pan

Non-stick spray

Wire rack

1 – Toothpick

Here we go! In a medium bowl, pour the contents of the mix pack. Next, if your cheese isn’t shredded because someone told you it’s better when you shred it fresh, but then doesn’t offer to shred it, you need to start shredding now. This is what ¾ looks like.

CC Shredded Cheese

Sprinkle the cheese and make a “well” at the bottom of the bowl. A “well” is a hole in the ground that holds water. Next, pour the beer. You’ll be tempted to drink it – don’t – that’s what the second bottle is for, and the entire contents are needed for flavor. Open and enjoy second bottle. And don’t worry about the bubbles produced from the mix if you have the right size bowl, otherwise it could bubble over.

CC Bubbles

Mix contents. The package says don’t overmix, but what does that mean? I hate it when instructions are vague. It means, stir until the ingredients are all together and not a second longer. Pour into pre-sprayed loaf pan. This is where you need the melted butter. Pour over top. It seems like a lot of butter to me, so next time I’ll use less – and not to be vague because I don’t like that, I’ll use half.

CC Pour butter

Place pan in preheated oven for 45 minutes and finish that second beer. Have a third if you want, you’ve got time. CC SmirkWhen the buzzer goes off, wearing your oven mitts, remove the loaf pan and place onto the wire rack, still keeping it in the pan for another 15 minutes. Guess what you have time for! But don’t forget the toothpick test. Oops. Maybe some of us shouldn’t have that third beer. Luckily everything turned out okay and the house smells great. Dig in!CC Bread Finish

Comedy Cooking for the Cooking Impaired
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2 thoughts on “Comedy Cooking for the Cooking Impaired

  • August 29, 2016 at 5:24 pm
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    Oh my gosh, this is hilarious – and I have to admit I’ve cooked like this a few times (a little wine for the chicken dish, a little wine for me). Love it!

    Reply
    • August 29, 2016 at 7:04 pm
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      Thank you Kirstie! My blog is entirely dedicated to making someone laugh or smile.

      Reply

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