We begin this week’s 90 Day Fiasco with a scene from, By Jorge, I think He’s Got it. Jorge has finally realized the stay-at-home wife he wants is not going to happen with Anfisa. She wants to be rich and famous and will pretty much do anything to get it.
The countdown is 30 days till their wedding day, so Jorge takes Anfisa to pick out a ring. Anfisa’s dream ring has at least three karats. Mine too. That’s going to cost Jorge $75K. He wishes! The ring Anfisa really wants is $150K with five karats. You see, the ring symbolizes their love, so say Anfisa. Jorge wants her to stick to $30K and be reasonable. Ha! Is this a comedy or a tragedy?
Up next is Nicole and Azan who are coming to the end of her Moroccan five week stay. After Azan proposed, the happy couple have been non-stop arguing. Azan says Nicole complains about everything. Plus he thinks she’s fat, lazy, and on her phone too much. And bonus: Nicole left her two-year old daughter, May, back home.
Cut to a clip of Nicole’s sister, Ashley playing with May. After four weeks, May probably thinks Ashley is mom. Ashley is starting to resent Nicole for walking out on her daughter to find love with a complete stranger in a foreign country. Nicole’s mom describes the Moroccan venture as a seesaw. And the religion differences are going to be a problem. Mom thinks the relationship is doomed and it time for her daughter to get a reality check.
Over in Kentucky, Alla is lonelier than ever, so she invites Matt’s mom Mery Ann to come for a visit. Her own mom past away a few years back, and Mery Ann only has boys. They both want a (somewhat) close relationship. Alla goes upstairs and tries on the wedding dress she schlepped from the Ukraine. Alla doesn’t have shoes yet, but who needs them for her dream wedding on a beach in Florida. Problem is, Matt’s already had a beach wedding with marriage #3 and they don’t like to talk about that anymore. Goodbye dream wedding.
Chantel is still on the outs with her family after coming clean with her lie about Pedro. She meets up with her brother River and learns that no one in the family is happy with her. Chantel gives the, I’m-sorry-but, apology and River says he’s done with Pedro. He may not go to the wedding, if there’s a wedding. Chantel and River both call their parents “mommy” and “daddy” which is funny when one of them is contemplating marriage. Chantel is all alone with her trade-off, Pedro vs. her entire family. River advises Chantel to reach out to mommy and daddy the following day.
Back in Kentucky, it’s a birthday time for Max. He is 8 and having a party. As the kids play, Matt’s mom pulls Alla aside to break the news there will be no beach wedding in Florida. She explains it’s too much money to go to Florida so instead they will go to Matt’s brother Mark’s house and put some sand on the living room floor. Alla is sad and now realizes having a big family kind of sucks. In defense of Matt’s family, this is his fourth wedding and they don’t want to plan their annual vacations around his wedding schedule.
Nicole has three days left in Morocco with Azan. She’s concerned they don’t know each other well enough to go through with the K1 visa. And Azan is concerned that Nicole will never respect his culture. In the market place, a loud sound comes over the speakers letting people know it’s time to pray again. Azan informs Nicole she can’t go into the mosque because A) she’s not Muslim, B) she’s not wearing a hijab, and C) she’s a woman and not allowed to pray with men. Nicole can pray at home while she’s taking care of all of the kids, cooking all the meals and cleaning the house. Nicole like, oh-no-you-di’ent. Each confesses they will never convert to the other’s religion.
Jorge takes Anfisa to a Russian restaurant for a come-to-Jesus-meeting about the ring and wedding budget. He tells her it’s either the dress or the ring. Anfisa says Jorge should sell his sports car. Boom! Anfisa says Jorge promised he’d get her whatever she wanted and she wants it all. This is an earth-shattering moment for Jorge as he learns the only reason Anfisa is with him is for his money. Anfisa truly doesn’t understand the problem. This was a business arrangement. Anfisa asks Jorge if she were ugly and fat would he date her. Boom! That’s a big hell no! When Anfisa doesn’t get her way she always says the following words, “I’m going back to Russia.” Jorge says this time he won’t stop her – but I think we all know this whipped boy will.
Matt and Alla are 15 days away for their wedding. Because Alla has been so sad over her non-beach wedding, Mery Ann has found another venue. Matt likes what he sees and thankfully so does Alla. With that out of the way, Matt is starting to freak out that he’ll be married for the fourth time in two weeks. His bachelor party is next week’s episode. Can’t wait, but hopefully Alla will get a girl’s night of her own.
In just two days Nicole will be leaving Morocco. The couple are still arguing a lot. Nicole is confused and meeting with her mom’s friend Tonya who is in a similar situation. I only wish these two had met earlier. Nicole needed a mentor. Turns out, Tonya has been in Algiers for three years. Nicole is hopeful that Azan will change in America and everything will be unicorns and rainbows. Tonya tells Nicole to learn more about his culture and then tells her, “You can’t hold on to a fairy tale just because you think you can change the ending of the story. It won’t change.”
Tonya reminds Nicole she needs to consider what’s best for May, too, because it’s not just about Nicole, even though Nicole thinks it’s just about her. Nicole wonders if she’d be happier without Azan. Hallelujah! By George, I think she’s got it too!
Tune in next week when it all comes crashing down for some of them.
Missed last week’s episode? Check it out here.