Welcome back to 90 Day Fiasco! We first check in with Anfisa and Jorge who are halfway through this experiment and fighting like a stray cat and a rescue dog. Jorge asks Anfisa to go to breakfast with him and she says no, but more like, “NO! I don’t want to go with you.” So she eats a bowl of cereal all by herself. Anfisa thinks America is boring and she’s in a cage. Well, sweetie, you’ve got the key, just set yourself free and fly back to Russia.
Turns out, Jorge was lying about going to work. He’s really going off to buy a ring. Please let it be CZ! As Jorge eventually picks out a ring worth $11,700 that he pays for in cash, his phone starts pinging like crazy from Anfisa. Here the thing, there’s more of a connection with Jorge and the jewelry girl than I’ve ever seen between Jorge and Anfisa. Jorge says he’s going to have a conversation with Anfisa about boundaries. Yeah, right!
Up next, Nicole’s family is at the airport to pick her up. It’s been a five long weeks of everyone picking up the slack for Nicole while she’s been shirking her responsibilities to be in Morocco with a guy she has nothing in common with. And Nicole has to remind her daughter May that her name is, Mommy. Nicole is dreading having the conversation with her family about what really went down, and that is, lots of fighting and a major culture clash with Azan. Plus, Nicole missed the bigger food portions, so clearly these two are headed for splitsville. As Nicole’s mom and sis ask questions, she shoves her dinner rapidly into her mouth, preventing her from saying too much. Nicole’s sister thinks she’s being used, her mom has a bad feeling about this, and Nicole just wants to go to sleep, then wake up and eat some more.
We are in Viet Nam with Lowo as he awaits Narkyia’s arrival. Something is up with these two and I don’t think even TLC knows what’s going on. But Lowo is planning on turning this fact-finding mission of Narkyia’s into a romantic trip. Narkyia and Lowo are reunited and it feels so good. They can’t stop kissing. Please stop kissing. He brings her into the hotel room blindfolded and she likes what she eventually sees. There’s cake and balloons and champagne and pictures of Narkyia everywhere. They kick the camera man out of the room.
Matt and Alla are meeting Patrick and Julie for dinner the night after the bachelor party. Alla doesn’t like Patrick and Patrick doesn’t trust Alla. Turns out, Julie and Alla are going to the beach for a girls’ trip. Good for them! Patrick explains to Alla the reason he’s such a hard ass is because he wants to make sure Alla is marrying Matt for the right reasons. Patrick asks Alla what she loves about Matt. Turns out, Alla has never told Matt she loves him. WTF? Hold everything! Why not? Alla says because saying “I love you” is a biggie to her. And marriage, not such so much? Are you kidding me? Matt is already headed for divorce number four and he’s not even married wife number four. Patrick is like, then why are you marrying him if you don’t love him. Dun, dun, duuunh!
After the commercial break, the scene is repeated, but this time Alla tells Patrick she is offended by his questio and Julie even tells Patrick to shut up. But what does Matt say? Matt says this is no big deal. And I believe him. I don’t think his other three wives loved him either. Alla tells Patrick to butt out because it’s Matt’s life. Alla cannot make promises and who knows, in three years she might be dead. Alla asks Patrick why he is coming to the wedding if he doesn’t believe in them. Matt tells Patrick don’t come to the wedding if he’s just going to disrupt the service. Patrick gets up and leaves – walking out on Julie as well – and she’s embarrassed. But we all know Patrick has a point. The fact that Matt’s fiancé isn’t in love with him isn’t a deal breaker for him – and that’s really sad.
It’s three days until Chantel and Pedro’s shotgun wedding and nothing is arranged, especially the prenup. Pedro’s mom calls and he tells her all about his mucho problemas in America and Chantel doesn’t like this. She prefers lying to ones parents over total honesty. Pedro’s mom says a prenup is stupido and so are Chantel’s parents. She says Chantel’s lucky to have her unemployed, non-English speaking son. She tells Pedro not to sign the papers because that means no dinero. But Pedro says he’ll sign the prenup because he wants to marry Chantel and stay here.
Jorge is driving home, so happy to have the ring, and is planning the proposal for the next day. But now it’s time to work so he can pay for his future wife’s expensive tastes. He’s looking to close a big deal today. Anfisa calls and Jorge says he needs to call her back. Jorge tells the producer, Anfisa typically calls 1,000 times a day. As Jorge tries to work, she continually calls back even though Jorge is pleading with her that he needs to work. Jorge is giving directions to his drug dealer business client, but Anfisa doesn’t give a shit, she’s lonely. Whaaa! Jorge wants to throw his phone out the window when it starts pinging. Do it! Maybe Anfisa just needs to smoke a fattie.
Back with Alla and Matt, they are ten days away from the wedding. He comes home and Alla has tea waiting. He’s thrilled. Matt talks about how in America it’s expected in a relationship that the couple says “I love you.” Alla points out that she’s not American. Matt asks when she’ll be ready to say those three words, but Alla can only say she needs more time. In other words, it won’t be in ten days. Matt is struggling and Alla thinks real love could take years. Or it could be never. This is good enough for Matt, let’s get hitched!
We are on Chicken Street with Narkyia and Lowo. She is having fun despite her doubts. In other words, denial runs deep in Viet Nam. Lowo asks if she is there to check up on him. Narkyia says she needs peace of mind. Lowo asks if she’s got it now. Here’s the definition of irony: in the beginning when Lowo was telling lies, Narkyia believed him. Now that he’s telling the truth, Narkyia doesn’t believe him. These two argue a lot and Lowo has a problem with Narkyia’s outspoken, independent nature that is very unlike a Nigerian woman. I’m waiting for Narkyia to bitch-slap Lowo, but she doesn’t. Too bad. Lowo thinks it’s 1950, so good luck with that. Red flag, woman!
Jorge is very confused. He stops by to talk with three of his sisters. Yay! Set him straight. Jorge confesses he feels controlled and trapped by Anfisa. They ask Jorge if he thinks Anfisa has ulterior motives. Jorge explains he has held up his end of the bargain but Anfisa has not. One of his sister says, “That what happens when you pay for someone to spread their legs.” Boom! If only Anfisa were there to hear it.
Tune in next week when Narkyia does bitch slap Lowo and Anfisa keys Jorge’s car.
Missed last week’s 90 Day Fiance? Check it out here.