We are nearing the end of 90 Day Fiasco. Yay! We return to Jorge who is still talking with his sisters. They think Jorge should ship the prostitute back to Russia. Jorge tells his sisters that he didn’t actually buy the engagement ring we were led to believe he did. The sisters vow to support Jorge with kicking Anfisa’s butt back to Russia.
As Jorge drives home, his courage begins to waiver. Anfisa hasn’t been blowing up his phone like she usually does and this frightens him. He doesn’t know what to expect when he walks in that door. Hopefully she’ll be gone. But she’s there and she’s pissed and the cameras aren’t allowed inside the apartment. Anfisa refuses to talk to Jorge and kicks him out. But the good news is the light bulb has gone on over Jorge’s meathead and he realizes that a woman like Anfisa is a bottomless pit of need and that pit is getting on a plane tomorrow. Hooray!
Onto Chantel and Pedro who are still fighting over the prenuptial agreement. Chantel and Pedro meet with an immigration attorney. The attorney also agrees a prenup is a good idea. Imagine that! But the bottom line is they can’t whip one up in a few hours. Even though Chantel currently has no dinero, her family has more money than Pedro’s family who has nada. Chantel knows her mom is going to be so mad. The attorney wishes them luck and kicks them out. Pedro hugs Chantel and tells her everything will be bueno.
Next up is Nicole who cannot reach Azan by Skype. Nicole and her mom go have a pow-wow. Let’s face it, her mom only knows half of the story. She’s said how bad Azan treated her, but she hasn’t stated how she showed a total lack of respect for his culture. Then Nicole starts whining like a four-year old that she is not okay with being treated poorly. Why is she so needy? Nicole cries, “I don’t know what to do.” And her mother tells her, “Yes, you do.” It’s really annoying how Nicole cries wee, wee, wee, all the home.
Matt and Alla’s wedding is the following day. She’s not excited like a bride should be, but Matt has enough excitement for the both of them. They are on their way to pick up Alla’s sister at the airport. They run and embrace each other. Her sister Iryna is beautiful. She will be able to attend the rehearsal dinner and wedding and have Alla’s back when Patrick acts like a jerk. Matt makes his way over to Patrick who is sitting by himself at the bar. Matt asks him to say his piece now and not at the wedding. Patrick reiterates his view that this is a trainwreck in the making and a dumb idea. Now that he’s got that out, Matt asks Patrick to be on his best behavior at the wedding. Patrick says he will try, but won’t give his word. This is when Matt should grow a pair and tell Patrick if he can’t give his word, he can’t come. Patrick tells the camera he might speak up when the preacher asks.
Over in Viet Nam, Narkyia is with Lowo on the way to check if he is really finalizing the paperwork. Girl, checking up on that man will be a full-time job. Turns out, Lowo was telling the truth about the document and he can get approval in 15 days.
Back with Nicole, now she is having another sit down, this time with her brother. Thomas is only 16 but way smarter than Nicole. She tells him how selfless and giving Azan is, which is a far cry then what she’s been telling her mom and sister. Nicole admits that she cried a lot in Morocco. Again with the whining. Apparently Azan is more charming on the phone than he was in person. Nicole whines some more that she loves him and wants to be with him. But why isn’t Azan returning her calls? Nicole has some doubts but still wants to go through with it – because she has zero self-esteem.
It’s wedding day, but Chantel and Pedro are the most depressed bride and groom ever. Chantel doesn’t have a dress or rings and doesn’t know if her parents will even attend the wedding. Plan B is to get a generic prenuptial off the internet. The wedding is all up to her friend GeGe to throw because the Chantel and Pedro are too busy arguing. Chantel picks out a few white dresses from her closet, and wants to try them on, but is in a pissy mood. Que pasa? Pedro asks if Chantel really wants to get married because it doesn’t seem like it. Chantel apologizes for taking her anger out on him – even though Chantel caused all of this with her lies. She calls her brother and then her mother, but neither takes her call. They not-so happy couple get dressed up and leave to go to the ceremony that no one attends – every girl’s dream.
Onto to Jorge who spent another night in the car. Jorge learns that Anfisa did something to his other car – the Suburban. The bitch keyed the word “idiot” on the side of the door. Jorge is ready to get this nightmare over with. He counts out $10K to purchase a ticket for Anfisa to go home. He tells the producer he wants to do it off camera. Moments later, Jorge comes back to the garage area with Anfisa – but no luggage. Anfisa no longer wishes to cooperate with the show and yells at Jorge when he tries, for hopefully the last time, but probably not. They drive off. Then, Jorge and Anfisa return to the apartment garage. So the story goes, they couldn’t get her a flight. As Jorge is asked whether they will try again tomorrow, Anfisa keeps yelling at him to follow her. Come here, puppy! And the puppy does, probably pissing himself on the way. Jorge sneaks back out to give some lame excuse about why Anfisa’s butt isn’t on a plane, but Anfisa opens the door and makes him come back the apartment. And Jorge does. OMG! He might want to make this work out because no woman will ever want a spineless man like this.
For the second hour of the show, Nicole is trying to find a way to help Azan get into the country. She visits an immigration lawyer to learn more about the K1 visa. If only she had done this prior to flying off to Morocco. Nicole shares their love app story, but it’s hard to understand because she’s talking like a baby. Basically, the attorney isn’t jumping up and down to take this case and even if she did, Nicole would need to hand over $5,000 first. To make matters worse, being a barista with a 2 year-old daughter, Nicole won’t be able to prove she can support Azan. The attorney recommends finding a co-sponsor. Nicole will have to ask her mom.
Back in Viet Nam, Lowo is taking Narkyia to meet his friend. They grab an ice-cream and she tells his friend things are going slow. The friend says that Lowo tried to get back with his baby-mama, but since that didn’t work out, this prince of a guy is ready to be with her. Narkyia is like, say what? When did this happen? During the initial stages of his lying, Lowo said his parents wanted him to get back with his baby mama – the one he originally said was dead. Narkyia smashes her ice-cream in Lowo’s face and walks off. The producer follows her but Lowo doesn’t. Instead his friend wipes the ice-cream off his face since this is all his fault.
Finally Lowo runs after Narkyia, trying to hold her and stop her, but she yells and pushes him away. If this is how his future is going to be, Lowo doesn’t think he wants to marry Narykia. Women in his culture don’t act like this. They should be submissive and just take all the lies and bullshit men give. Narkyia returns to her hotel alone.
Back with Jorge, they are 13 days away from the mandatory wedding, and Anfisa is still here. Poor Jorge, he can’t man-up. He should call his sisters. But he’s afraid. He’s also afraid to go back to the apartment, so he sits in his car on the rooftop. Anfisa calls and asks where he’s at. Jorge asks why it matters. She asks him to come back so they can go out and talk about the situation. She promises to talk like a normal person. Jorge feels he owes it to Anfisa to listen to her. Sucker!
Now it’s time for Nicole to grovel to her mom to pay for sponsor Azan to come to America. Again with the baby talk, she explains the situation to her mom. Nicole’s mom doesn’t want to be responsible for Azan – and who can blame her. She says no. Nicole needs to earn $25,500 annually so her mom recommends she get a second job. Nicole threatens her mom that she’s taking Mae to Morocco in December. Oh no you aren’t, says Grandma. Nicole can’t even put her daughter first and is convinced she will carry on. So there! I get my way no matter what! Whaaa!
It’s wedding time. Even though it’s a used white dress, Chantel looks beautiful. They arrive at the gazebo in the park that Gege has decorated with Christmas lights. They wait for anyone to show up. And they wait. And they wait. Finally, we hear the clickity-click of heels and see Chantel’s mom, dad, and sister walk up. But before the ceremony can begin, they ask to inspect the prenup. This seems just wrong to Pedro who doesn’t have family their and wishes Chantel didn’t either. They approve of the prenup and give their blessing. The preacher says they have to start, cuz he’s got things to do, and can’t wait for her brother who’s at a basketball game to show up. At the last second, River walks up. Finally a happy ending! The nuptials are exchanged and Chantel is optimistic about their future. Hopefully Pedro will learn piquto more English to the family can talk to each other.
Back with the worst couple ever, Anfisa is getting up hussied up to go out and make Jorge miss what he’ll never have her again. Jorge tells her how much he appreciates that Anfisa actually picked up the phone and made reservations at an expensive restaurant all by herself. Anfisa says she’s lonely in America and feels Jorge doesn’t understand that. Anfisa has no thoughts for how to achieve happiness. Jorge explains he doesn’t like how tiny arguments turn into huge blowouts. Jorge asks Anfisa if she wants to marry him. She doesn’t answer but asks him the same question. Jorge says he wants Anfisa to be patient. She says she will try. Anfisa says she knows she can be a big box of crazy and that money is most important. He asks if he lost all his money would Anfisa still love him. She takes a while to say, “Of course.” And Jorge believes it. Poor sap. The wedding is back on. Jorge wants to settle down now because it’s now or never. He promises to give Anfisa the best wedding ever. Sigh.
Tune in next week to see the rest of the conclusions and the reunion.
If you missed last week’s episode check it out here.