Should I Stay or Should I Go
A hurricane is coming! Is this a warning sign that Devin should run? He thinks so. In fact he’s sweating bullets – that he’d probably like to insert into his head for participating in this sham. The minister asks everyone to stand, Ursula walks down the aisle with her father and is delivered to Devin. He seems disappointed and won’t make eye contact with his new bride. Ursula speed-reads through her vows and when Devin is supposed to say, I do, he does…eventually. Devin reads his rhyming vows that show his sense of humor and this helps break the ice. They get through the ceremony and stall just a bit when it comes time for this kiss.
The couple goes backstage and has a moment alone – their first moment alone – and it’s not a great one. Devin explains that his likes are a clean house and his dislikes are burnt food. Ursula asks if he expected to marry a maid. Then Ursula asks about a pre-nup which would be a post-nup, and she just happens to have one on hand. She asks Devin if he has time to sign it right now. Seriously? Five minutes into this marriage and this guy needs to get a lawyer.
Next we meet our new bride to be, Tahnee, who’s always a bridesmaid and never a bride. She’s tried everything to meet that special man, supposedly. She works out five days a week and tans all the time, but he wasn’t there. She wants a man who’s taller than she is (she’s 5’10”) works out, is compassionate, nice, has integrity and will put her in her place. Her mom and dad divorced when she was three and her mom will be doing this job of finding a husband because her slacker dad didn’t want the responsibility of finding his beautiful daughter a husband. Also joining Cindy in the process is Tahnee’s ex-step mom, Lisa. Whatever works, right?
Bethany’s parents, Julie and Thomas, are deliberating over who the best choice is for their daughter. Julie feels that it’s Billy and Thomas likes Matt one point better – because he brought gifts and he can see himself hanging out with Matt. Julie reminds him this isn’t about finding him a friend. The problem with Matt is the foam that gathers at the sides of his mouth. The problem with Billy is he’s Catholic. The two remain divided.
We join Marissa and her parents. Leslie just arrived and when they return to her house, Marissa freaks out because her dad sat on her decorative pillows. Wow, I’m beginning to see why this girl is single. Leslie and Matt discuss that nobody is good enough for their baby. Mmm-hmm. Marissa is a self-admitted control freak and doesn’t like not knowing and not being involved in every single thing. She leaves the room and Matt tells Leslie that the first guy Jeff is out because he doesn’t have a job, no matter how nice he is.
Back with Devin and Ursula, who are introduced as Mr. & Mrs. Duggan to the room full of strangers. Most likely the post-nup stipulated that Ursula would not be taking Devin’s last name. Devin’s dad, Frank asks Ursula what she thinks of his son. Ursula says he’s nice which is like saying the party was interesting. Mom and dad are proud of their choice and like Ursula’s parents. At the bride/groom table, the conversation seems forced and stilted. If this were a first date I’d say there probably wouldn’t be a second date.
Bethany’s parents have finally chosen the husband for Bethany. The write the proposal on a football and will throw it to him. So, who is him? Him is Billy and him says yes! Julie welcomes him into their dysfunctional family. Everyone is excited. Billy tells the peeps that he won’t leave Bethany at the alter. And the fact that he mentions this worries me.
Tahnee is meeting up with her stepmom, Lisa, along with her mom Cindy. She’s honored to be part of this crazy process. Tahnee admits she wasn’t an easy child, moving back and forth between parents and step parents and for a while nobody liked each other, but now they all do. Except for Tahnee’s dad – I think nobody likes him. The ladies start crying because they are certain he is out there. The trio hug it out.
Thomas and Julie tell Bethany that they have found her husband and he said yes. They say her new husband is the type of guy she’ll be attracted to, except for that missing tooth – ba dum tisk. Bethany is both relieved and anxious. Reality is setting in that she’s about to get married.
We return to Devin’s wedding reception. The best man gives a speech wishing the couple the best while other guests give testimonial that no way would they ever do this. Ursula thanks Devin for the wonderful wedding. The guests call for a kiss and Devin only plants one on Ursula’s cheek. He’s obviously still thinking how he signed his life away without reading the documents. The couple have their first dance and it’s not so bad. Then everyone else joins in, and if nothing else, it’s a great party.
Devin takes a moment to meet privately with his parents and they ask for his thoughts. Devin explains that he thought she’d be eliminated for what he told them, but since she wasn’t, he’ll make the most of it. Devin says he’ll try to learn to love her, but hey, who knows. This whole thing is a crap shoot anyway. Can’t wait for the honeymoon.
Tune in next week when another wedding takes place and cold feet run amuck.
Missed last week’s episode? Check it out here.