Breaking News! Want to Fall in Love? Quit Watching Rom-Com’s!
Imagine this, you spot the man or woman of your dreams across the crowded (fill in the blank) protest rally and your eyes meet. Your heart skips a beat and goose bumps travel down your arms. Obviously you have much in common because you are both protesting the same (fill in the blank) cause. But wait. The crowds at the (fill in the blank) protest have separated you two and you’re sure you’ve lost your one and only chance at love with the one. Not to worry, after talking it over with your friends at the (fill in the blank) protest, the universe hears your wish and reunites you two lovebirds with a wonderful story to pass onto your kids and grandkids about how you met and fell in love at the (fill in the blank) protest rally.
Now, slap yourself across the face. This will not happen. Why? According to scientists, life is not a romcom! Every day, potential mates commonly referred to as “the one” are passing you by because you think there must be some magical strike of lightening instead of a slow moving friendship that turns into respect and becomes real love.
“Yes, we’ve found that not only movies, but romance novels can be quite the barrier for people to connect,” explained one of the scientists. “Take it from me, quit reading and watching these out-of-reach displays of romance, otherwise you’re going to be 40 and alone with four cats…like this friend of mine.”
In addition to setting up unrealistic characteristics for individuals, movies and novels can unwittingly promote stalking. When an individual has met “the one” often times they will stop at nothing to convey their desire to be together. Sure that’s a great plot in the movie The Notebook but in real life he’s just a guy who’s trying to get the girl no matter that’s she’s with another man or how much restoration work he must do on a house.
“My life is just like that movie,” said a woman in mandatory anger management classes. “My guy just needed time to realize I was the perfect woman, not his wife and three kids, but me. I’m still working on this, but I’m committed to his getting the message no matter what.”
So what’s next? How do we lower our expectations and settle find the perfect partner who will fill our every need and make us better people and be the person we can relax and be ourselves with?
“It’s in the mundane. The person you enjoy doing dishes with, listening about their routine day, and settling in to watch an episode of NCIS.” The expert scratched his head and added, “Okay, I don’t really believe that myself, but it’s what the studies show.”
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