Dear Dani,

I have a dilemma. I have been asked out on two dates for Valentine’s Day. One guy is really sweet and funny and the other guy is going through a bitter divorce. The sweet/funny guy is a better match for me, but he asked me out after I said yes to the bitter guy. I figured with nothing better to do, I would show this guy that not all women are cheating bitches like he says we are. So, I’m worried that if I try to break the date, with a guy better suited for me, and which I agreed to because of my nurturing spirit, he’ll think all women are complete bitches. So you see my dilemma. The fate of woman-kind rests on my shoulders. What would you do?

Signed,

Torn Between 2

Dear Torn,

Hold on a sec while I get a ladder so you can climb down from your imperial horse. The fate of woman-kind does not rest on your shoulders. Let me be blunt, you like drama. And look what you’ve done, you’ve made a bad situation worse because you inserted yourself in something that was above your pay grade. You said yes to bitter guy because you wanted to save someone and your punishment is to now spend a miserable evening designated for romance with a guy you don’t have a future with because you wanted to make yourself feel better – not him. Good luck.

Dear Dani,

I’ve met the perfect man! I’m so excited because it’s so hard to find someone who meets the 39 of the 40 required character traits I’m seeking, but I’m trying to decide if the missing character trait is a deal breaker. You see, I don’t think he’s interested in having sex with me. And before you say he’s gay, he’s not. He says he loves me, and of course I love him too, he’s just not interested in me or anyone in that way. I’ve offered to dye my hair and lose weight but he just says, “Whatever.”  Do you think he’ll change? Especially after we have children someday? Because I plan to have a lot of kids.

Signed,

I’ll Dye for You

Dear Dye,

As we say in the south, bless your heart. You have all the information you need, but are dying to be with anyone, even if he’s in the throes of an undiagnosed depression. Walk away. And that’s all I’m going to say. If you can’t follow the dots then my telling you flat out isn’t going to make a difference. Good luck.

Dear Dani,

I am recently divorced and have a new job. Today has been hell. Practically everyone has gotten flowers, chocolate and/or cards. I have nobody. My mom said she’ll send my flowers to the office and sign it, secret admirer, but they can’t promise they’ll make it by 5:00. I mean what’s the point of getting gifts if you can’t rub it in others faces?  My question is, should I pay the extra $50 expedite fee to get them by 3:00?

Signed,

Candy-Coated Crap

Dear Crap,

Sure.

Dear Dani Valentine’s Edition
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