Below Deck Reunion
It’s reunion time for Below Deck! Here’s the thing about reunion shows. When you are a juggernaut show like most of the Real Housewives, Bravo will rent out a theater or historic center and Andy Cohen will interview you there. When you are in the middle of the ratings chart, you go to the Clubhouse and crowd around Andy so the wide lens can capture everyone.
On first impressions the crew looks good. Most Improved award goes to Baker and Most Unimpressed goes to Capt. Lee. Bruno is not there due to a “visa issue” and the white Chris Brown declined Bravo’s invitation to appear due to extreme embarrassment. Fun fact: Baker is related to Thomas Ravenel of Southern Charm by way of step-uncle, which doesn’t count and the two are free to marry.
Nico has just returned from scattering his little brother’s ashes, which brings up a good point. Why sign up for another season on a reality show when you are in the throes of grief? Nico says he was running away from his problems, which is the most honest thing he’s said this season.
Flashbacks are shown of trouble on the Valor because the crew was 50 shades of green. Capt. Lee is asked who would he work with/not work with again. After being told he can’t take the 5th his responses are: Jen – I don’t know; Bruno – Jury’s still out; Chris Brown – No. Capt. Lee doesn’t say who he would work with.
Next, Andy reads a viewer question that asks Kate was she was so miserable. She gives her entire answer while staring down Jen. Simply put Kate doesn’t like splitting the tips and doing more than her fair share for an ungrateful twit. The conversation moves to Chris Brown and his firing. For the most part, everyone liked the dude, just not his work ethic except EJ. Kyle says the mood on the Valor when her arrived was “like I had no shickens.” WTF?
The next round of flashbacks show the tension and conflict between EJ and Nico. Nico says it’s painful for him to watch what an asshole he was to EJ. Nico’s feelings were hurt that he wasn’t made bosun and his feelings were hurt again when Andy called him an entitle jerk. Capt. Lee says if he had seen how Nico was treating EJ during he wouldn’t have given him the promotion. Ouchie! Capt. Lee doesn’t give a rat’s ass about hindsight and reflection. Nico didn’t appreciate the help he asked for.
After flashbacks are shown of the crews hit and misses with hookups, Andy asks who among the cast is single now. Everyone raises their hands except Capt. Lee and EJ, but then Brianna changes her yes to a no. Spoiler alert: Brianna thinks she’s in love with someone who she hasn’t even been on a date with. EJ explains the reason he didn’t kiss Baker was because
she scares him he was leaving the next day. Matt won’t say he regrets getting so drunk on his date Bri, just that it all worked out for the best. Isn’t that noble of him. And when asked to select men or women, Kate says “definitely men.” Guess her dip in the lady pond was only in the shallow end.
Onto Jen and her case for sexual harassment by the over-friendly, drunk, charter guests. Jen says they didn’t specifically ask her to join them for a three-some but it was implied. Kate says although this happens all the time with drunks with money in international waters, it isn’t right. Capt. Lee defends Kate for handling it correctly, though he didn’t learn about it until he watched the show. Yowza! Way to not pay attention.
Onto Brianna and Nico and their love-torn romance mistake. Flashbacks are shown as well of smaller screen shots of their current reactions watching the flashbacks. Nico and his girlfriend did get back together for a short time, but she broke up with him mid-way through the season. Ya think? Brianna says she had no idea his relationship with Melissa was long-term and if she had more feelings for Nico maybe she could have mustered up a tear or two when it ended.
Onto Jen and how her dream of yachting turned into a nightmare of constant laundry. Jen says that her complaining was not complaining it was her being verbal with her communication. Hand to God, that’s what she said. Kate says this wasn’t her worst season ever. That was the season with Rocky. Kate did apologize for saying Jen sucked at her job. She was being a bitch. Kate’s words, not mine, but she’s absolutely right. Capt. Lee says if he had seen Jen acting like this he would have let her have it, but in the presence of a witness. And that’s why he’s the captain. Kyle lashes out at Jen for her comment to Baker about being a whore, but they don’t show subtitles so who the fuck knows what he’s saying. Jen apologized the very next day to Baker because she’s a lousy drunk who can’t handle her alcohol, try as she might. Jen also thinks she didn’t play the victim and Kyle nearly busts a gut laughing at that one. The good news is, because Jen is funny, Kate would work with her again. Just not in the yachting industry.
I completely forgot Matt was even at the reunion until they rolled the footage of his screw-ups in the galley. Joining the reunion via Skype is Bruno who couldn’t be here due to “visa issues.” Matt says it was a rough season for him due to his
inability to cook personal problems. Bruno says he became Matt’s unofficial sous chef because he enjoys being with a man decorating cakes. Matt thanks Kate for helping him during the last charter, but Bruno says Kate should have helped out sooner. Give me a break! Kate has to do her job plus Matt’s job? Capt. Lee says it was too little too late with Matt. Kate says that Bruno would be a better interior, but she’d never work with him again. Andy says goodbye to Bruno and congratulates him on his engagement but we don’t know if it’s to a man or a woman?
Capt. Lee is asked to select his All-Star crew from all the seasons. He chooses Kate for chief stew. Nico for something. Eddie, Kat, Chef Ben, and Kelley. So let’s make this happen! (Plus throw in Rocky for fun.) Right now Nico is working for his family’s plumbing and concrete company and getting his captains license to charter a boat in Chicago. At the end, EJ says he regrets not kissing Baker, but when pressed to do it now, wouldn’t. Wimp!
And that’s it. Check back soon for the next random recap. Thanks for reading!
Missed last week’s season finale? Check it out here.