New Project Runway

Welcome to “Project Runway” where one day you’re in, and the next day you’re out. Blake has been sent packing because he’s never seen a real naked girl’s body and therefore failed Heidi’s lingerie challenge. We are now left with ten designers.

We begin the day with the arrivals of boom boxes at the hotel rooms. After the designers ask the oldest person in the room to work said boom box, they learn almost nothing about their upcoming challenge.

The designers join Tim Gunn and Nina Garcia’s boss at an out-of-date technology dumpsite for the unconventional materials challenge. Yay! These are fun. The task is to take the outdated technology and recycle it into modern fashion. The designers grab their shopping cards and commence their dumpster dive. They grab floppy disks, circuit boards, chords, Polaroid’s, mouse pads, etc. When time’s up they’re told to push their carts, wee, wee, wee, all the way home, back to the studio.

In the workroom, Joe is vowing not to go matronly again, but you know he will. Ashley is doing something interesting with the Polaroid’s by bending them. Kelly has aluminum tubing that has a futuristic quality. And Lindsey is confused about her direction.

When Tim steps into the workroom to give instructions for the one-day challenge, Jake asks if he can speak with him privately. We learn that his beloved dog is very sick and needs to be put to sleep. This dog helped Jake through the death of his parents and now Jake wants to be there for his dog in his final hours of need. As a dog lover, I want Tim to use his “Tim Gunn Save” but he doesn’t and Jake drops out of the competition. We are now down to nine designers.

It’s time for the Tim Gunn review. He begins with Lindsey who is having trouble getting inspired. Her gown is white keyboard pieces and a chrome radio part. That’s it so far. When Tim suggests Lindsey cut the gown’s length, she becomes even more confused.

Next is Candice whose short, sexy dress of blue and black chords has swirled patterns on the chest. It reminds me of the red liquorish dress from a few season back. It’s very cool.

Tim is excited about Ashley’s Polaroid dress. He gives her a quick tip on placement and tells her to stop doubting herself. Being chosen last on that team challenge really messed with Ashley.

Kelly’s silver dress, according to Tim, is a modern and unexpected paillette. The definition is placed on the screen because we the viewers, as well as Kelly, don’t know what the hell this means. Def: A piece of glittering material used to ornament clothing. Her dress could be the coolest.

Edmond’s black dress is made with mouse pads, inverted keyboard letters, and a wire-laced back to die for. Tim’s advice is that he not keep it simple due to the enormous ambition in the room. And let’s face it – Edward is the one to beat.

As for Merline’s dress, Tim is perplexed. The dress looks like a potential costume for the movie, Birdman. He tries to give advice, but Tim’s thinking what we’re thinking. Merline is lucky to have immunity.

Joe is ready to sex it up. He too will be making a blue and black chord dress with circuit chords. Tim tells him to “fool the eye.” It’s too soon to tell if what Joe’s designing will be matronly.

Laurie’s purple and gray mouse pad dress looks good to me – keeping in mind it’s unconventional challenge – but Tim doesn’t like it. It’s too literal. Laurie is sticking to her guns on this and not taking the “Tim Gunn” advice. Bad idea. Always go with Tim.

The dress Swapnil is constructing with white telephone wire is taking on an avant-garde statue effect for the top. He plans a muslin skirt for the bottom, but Tim tells him no to the skirt being only muslin. (Remember when Merline said she would cut the Muslim? Girl is funny.) Tim is excited by Swapnil’s design so far.

Before Tim leaves he tells the gang that there’s potential for the best unconventional challenge in the history of Project Runway. No pressure, designers. Especially not for Swapnil. In fact, this is the perfect time for his cigarette break. His strategy is to coast at about 60%. Then when he’s at the end of the competition, kick it into high gear. I hope the judges see this clip before making their decision.

The models arrive for their fitting and unsolicited opinions. Joe doesn’t have enough fabric to cover his model’s ass. Laurie finally sees her dress is made of mouse pads when she tilts her head. Ashley switches strategy, but the a-framed dress sounds even better. Joe will not take the advice to cut the dangling vagina wires. Swapnil is hanging out and Lindsey is still confused.

The morning of the runway show and Tim gives the usual, “you have two hours to get your model into the” fill-in-the-blank studio. Swapnil realizes he’s run out of time. Shocker. Didn’t see this coming with all of the cigarette breaks the producers decided to include in the episode.

It’s showtime! The judges are Zac Posen, Nina Garcia, Paula Patton (who is totally sweet), and Ann Fulenwider, Nina’s boss. This is an anonymous show, which is ridiculous since you can totally tell who the designers are by their reactions to the garments.

Swapnil is first and his outfit is cool if you don’t mind white cables in your face. He thinks he might win.

Edward’s dress is something I’d like to wear. You cannot tell the dress is from an unconventional challenge. And bonus! He made a clutch.

Lindsey’s white dress is as boring as a shower curtain. (Thanks Zac Posen!)

Candice’s blue and black chord dress is banging, but you need a banging body to go with the banging dress. For supermodels only, but the judges will love it.

Laurie’s purple and gray mouse pad dress turned out even cuter when she painted black splats onto the dress, giving it a look of texture.

Kelly’s silver metal dress was not only futuristic, it’s a masterpiece. She should win.

Merline’s birdman dress? (Insert loud buzzing sound.) If she didn’t have immunity, she’d be going home.

Ashley’s white Polaroid dress is a quirky vision of style. The top is modern and the skirt is hip. She could also be the winner.

And Joe, sweet Joe, how does he do it? He managed to make this blue and black chord dress appear matronly by the sheer fact that it came straight from 1980.

The judges have made their decisions. They ask Laurie, Candice and Merline to step forward. They are safe. I’m a little surprised Candice didn’t make it as one of the top designs, but like I always say, what the hell do I know.

Moving on – here are some descriptions given by the judges when they see the dresses up close.

Ashley: Inventive, romantic, futuristic

Kelly: Spectacular, perfect, polished

Edward: Slapped together, spectacular back

Joe: Boring scuba dress, clumsy, uninspired

Lindsey: Lacking oomph, the worst, old-fashioned

Swapnil: Mess from waist down, not pushing potential

The judges have made their final decisions. Drum roll please. The winner is: Kelly and her silver spectacular dress. And the loser is, no surprise, Joe and his matronly aesthetics.

Auf Wiedersehen, Joe! Good luck with the grannies back home.

RECAP Project Runway – Episode 7 – Haute Tech Couture
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