Jax and Tom

When my editor first told me about the request for a contributor from her website “All About the Tea” to appear on HuffPostLive, I said no. Through webcam I would ask preapproved questions to cast members from the reality show, Vanderpump Rules, a show I didn’t watch. I’m a writer, not an on-screen personality, but my editor thought it would be a good opportunity for me to get exposure for the new comedy website I had just launched.

Being in front of the camera isn’t for everyone. Sad to say, I may be one of those people. Here’s what happened. First it took forever to set up the connection between my computer and HuffPosts’ computers. Next I was asked to submit three questions each for the two incredibly handsome bartenders on the show. The Huff Post team selected three questions total from me: one for Jax, one for Tom, and one for both. Several hours later they changed the question and forgot to tell me. Then they made another change and remembered to tell me, and this is how I found out about the other change. Here are my three approved questions:

  1. Jax-Where do you see yourself in 5 years when you turn 40
  2. Tom-Will you and Katie get married on the show
  3. Both-Tell us something about Lisa Vanderpump no one knows

Fluff. Not too difficult. But my heart is pounding as I watch the beginning of the show on my lap top. One of my better questions that was rejected is used by the host, but no worries, I just want to get through this. They don’t tell you what order you’ll be in, but I was second in the “community” of question-askers. The pounding in my chest has not traveled to my ears. I can’t hear that well and I’m worried I’ll yell my question. My moment arrives.

Luckily the time whizzes by during my three questions, but here’s how I insulted the guest, Jax. I didn’t mean to, but when the host “tossed” the segment to me, she asked if I had any advice for Jax about his recent DWI arrest. I’m pretty sure I stuttered, but I said, “Why don’t you drink water in between all the alcohol.” I mean, at least I didn’t tell him to quit or go to AA, but Tom, the other guest, is cracking up. That’s when Jax was insulted. He laughs, but there is a bit of a scoff, like who the hell was I, so I quickly offered up, “No judgment, no judgment” and moved onto the first question – which Jax says he hates, by the way.

My heart drops into my stomach. He hates the pre approved question. The camera is on him, not me, but I change it to, “Do you see yourself married by then?” Thankfully Jax is in love. He hopefully/maybe/probably sees himself married in five years.

Next is Tom’s question and he is excited to talk about Bravo hypothetically paying for his entire wedding to Katie. The last question about Queen Bee, Lisa V, fell flat because these guys don’t know where the bodies are buried. All they came up with is: Lisa can command a room of dogs – and they should know.  Ba-dum-dum.

In the end it was kind of fun. I had a small headache from the dip in adrenaline, nothing a couple of ibuprofens and beer couldn’t’ fix, but I’m keeping this in mind: if there’s a next time, the experience should that much easier. *Update: HuffPost called the next week, and it was much easier. Bonus: I didn’t insult the guest, JWoww. (Though I tried but that question wasn’t approved.)

First appearance on HuffPostLive and I insult the guest 🙁