Happy Chriskwanuka, y’all! We are finally back with the couples of Married at First Sight. Was this the longest week ever or what! What is it about Season 3 that has me all caught up in their lives? We join the couples on their last day in paradise.
Tres and Vanessa are cautiously optimistic about their future and ready to start their life in Atlanta. Ashley is down-right excited to leave Phoenix, and when David asks her to rate the honeymoon, she claims she doesn’t “do ratings.” But I do and I give the honeymoon a 5. And Neil and Sam are feeling better at the end of their honeymoon than they did at the beginning, thanks to a near head-on collision.
It’s time for the intimacy updates! Neil and Sam have progressed to hugging along with the occasional high-five, but have not consummated the marriage. Ashley and David are backsliding, she’s not feeling romantic about him, they are touching less, and of course, have not consummated their marriage. Tres and Vanessa are on the brink of ripping each other’s clothes off and I wonder if they are going to consummate in their car – but they don’t.
Back in Atlanta, a somber David films himself walking to his condo alone. Ashley wanted to be by herself on their first night back to “study.” His place still has the remnants of the pre-wedding party. David says, “Maybe my wife doesn’t like me” and my heart sinks. David grasps that his marriage is in trouble and hopes the bottle and wine will help him sleep tonight.
Each of the couples visit their new “life” partner’s residences. First up, David visits Ashley. Ashley is conveniently holding her little dog and can’t kiss or hold or shake David’s hand. He likes her place, but she hates his place when she visits. Neil drops by Sam’s place and uncovers a hidden hording problem of scented wax melts. Sam feels his place is too fancy and expensive. Tres and Vanessa’s biggest problem is location. He wants Buckhead; she wants Midtown. Their apartments are both small. In the end, all the couples decide to find a new place to begin their happily ever after.
Trouble is brewing when David brings up that he doesn’t want to live in Ashley’s neighborhood because he doesn’t want her to use it as a crutch. Ashley is shocked by the accusation and asks, where is this “jumping ahead” coming from? Wake up, Ashley. You are about to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to you. You wanted to spend your first night back apart. That’s where this is coming from.
It’s now time to discuss finances. Can we all agree this is more difficult than talking about intimacy? No? It’s just me? In any event, each couple comes up with a formula for who and what they will spend, and that is, the men will pay more. Isn’t funny how us women like to be “traditional” on this issue? But here’s the thing, David can afford a lot more and he’s willing to do this for his “wife.” Neil trusts Sam to handle the finances since she’s a bank manager. And Tres is hopeful that Vanessa can help him stop being the spender he is and he’s happy to know he makes more money than his new wife.
Let the house hunting begin, and who doesn’t love that show. I’ll say this about moving MAFS from New York to Atlanta, we no longer have to see the couples choose a place the size of a walk-in closet. Tres and Vanessa look at one in his side of town and one in hers, but choose the one in Buckhead. It’s closer to his work and since Tres will be the #breadwinner, Vanessa is willing to compromise.
The first home David and Ashley look at is boring with a capital B. The second home is bad ass with all caps. David, if Ashley doesn’t want to move in with you, I’m sure plenty of other women will. But we witness Ashley’s face brighten as the dollar signs in her eyes glow on her face indicates how nice it would be to have a man take care of her. Besides, y’all, this will help them become closer, what with all the extra rooms and stuff.
Neil and Sam rap their way to look at two homes. I like how Neil likes that Sam likes to have fun. When they are playful with one another, like the pillow fight, they are on the right track. Sam and Neil choose the cheaper house with the pool and feel good about the joint selection. Here’s hoping that Neil’s swimming trunks aren’t bright red with the words: big spoon, written on his ass.
Here’s the scary part – and I think the experts would agree – you don’t really know someone until you live with them. As the couples pack, some are more overwhelmed and some are more, everything I need is in this one box—Tres.
Ten minutes in the new house, Ashley brakes the toilet handle. David comes home with flowers and only the dog wants to kiss him, but he takes the broken fixture in stride and they laugh it off. The couple welcome over their first guest, David’s mom, and it’s her birthday. Ashley is the most gracious hostess we’ve seen in the five episodes of this show. She is actually smiling at her new mother-in-law. For real. David’s mom gives encouraging advice to the duo and David gives a toast to “the two most important women in his life.” All together now, aaawwww.
Sam is struggling during the move into the new house and feels that David is acting differently in from of the cameras. Sounds like a girl who needs her dad. Or one of the an experts. Sam falls asleep on the couch and David says he completely understands she’s exhausted from all the changes coming at them. All together now, aawww.
Vanessa makes a nice southern meal for her new southern man in their furniture-less new home. From the looks of if, girl can cook. She sets up a picnic area with a couple of blankets, but the dog pees on one, so she grabs another blanket. Tres comes home and likes the fact that there’s food on the makeshift table. Afterwards, he picks Vanessa up and carries her off to the bedroom. Hopefully that room has a bed, but at this point, who cares, grab the pee-less blanket and go. All together now, it’s about damn time!