Breaking News – Scientists say give “flabby” friends the heave ho.Scientist

The term “flabby” has nothing to do with weight. It’s reference has to do with a metaphorical burden we carry when people in our lives are the biggest sources of stress. No matter which side of the continuum, whether needy/clingy or passive/aggressive, having friends can sometimes be a fulltime job. But “flabby” friends have the unique characterization of not evoking strong feelings, positive or negative, yet the time-consuming upkeep of the relationship can cause difficulties with the rest of life’s stresses.

Philosopher Mark Vernon says, “Friends are the main cause of arguments with partners and families.”

Exciting news for people who argue about money and sex; they no longer hold the number one spot. But there is more interesting news, scientist have documented that people with a high count of flabby friends have higher blood-pressure than those with a low count. The reason? High-maintenance friendships may cause temporary grief, but the overall relationship provides a deeper level of satisfaction.

According to the study, the recommendation to get rid of these flabby friends would provide a two-fold positive result. “First, because you aren’t invested in the friendship, you have more time to give to your friends that really need you, and second, you don’t have to pretend you care, when you don’t.”

In an attempt to gauge the public’s perception of this exciting new discovery, MCT spoke to citizens at the local grocery store for their thoughts.


“Get rid of the flab? I’ve work very hard at keeping separate sets of friends. People get on my nerves easily, so rotating friends works best for me.”


“I’ve actually considered doing that, but when I need reassurance, sometimes those close friends won’t continually tell me how great I am, that’s why it’s good to keep the flabby friends.”


“Nope. I need them all and have my friends in groups ranked A through E. When I’m looking for something to do on Saturday night, I start checking with the A’s, then move through the rest until I find the best party. Usually the A’s have it, that’s why they’re the A’s. But once in a while a D or an E will come thru.”

Breaking News – Scientists Say Give “Flabby” Friends the Heave Ho
Tagged on: