I Never Want to Go to a Movie Theater Again

Harsh words, right? You’re never supposed to say never, but I really want to say never. In fact, I want to save my money and purchase a 70” flat screen and commercial grade surround sound for my own theatre. But my patience has worn thin after seeing The Conjuring (both 1 & 2) with rude people in the audience. Yes, I’ll have to wait three to six months to see the great movies, but it just might be worth it. Here’s why:

First can I say: People, you aren’t that important. Just because your phone vibrates, doesn’t mean you have to check it. (Thank you for at least silencing your phones.) But it’s only two hours of your life. It’s okay that something may have happened and you don’t know what it is. It can wait.

Next: STFU! If you want to talk to the screen from time-to-time (3x max) you must keep your remarks to, “Please don’t go in the basement” or “He’s right behind you.” Talking to each other through the entire movie about what your friends are up to now that you’ve checked SM for the 10th time is not acceptable. Say home, rent movies, talk and surf all you want.

Thirdly: Where are our hazmat suits? Seriously. Instead of 3-D glasses, give us yellow paper suits. And I’m not even a germaphobe, but some theaters aren’t as diligent as others when it comes to cleaning. Forget the pillows and blankets, too. I don’t want to speculate what’s happening with or beneath those items.

And Lastly: When you offer a dinner menu and ask that patrons be there early to place an order so not to disrupt other people who are trying to watch the movie, make sure you have staffed properly to ensure that orders can be placed prior to the movie instead of ten minutes after the actual movie (not previews) have started. And that drink I ordered – would have been nice to have it with my meal, but perhaps I should be grateful I got it at all.

Sorry about my rant-post this week, but I really want to stick to my guns on this one. And I understand I need to work on my patience, technically it is a virtue, but when you pay $12.50 per ticket, you expect a little more. Maybe I should lower my expectations. In the meantime, I promise to come clean in the event I do break my movie theater abstinence project (MTAP). Thanks for reading. Feel free to share your nightmare movie theater experiences in the comments section below.

I Never Want to Go to a Movie Theater Again