Have you ever wanted to be model tall? Well, careful what you wish for! These women on My Giant Life are beyond tall with the shortest measuring in at 6’6″.But this show is aptly named because these women have personalities that match their height and like to party. So let’s get this party started.
We begin in Huntington Beach, CA with Haleigh who is 6’7” and towers over her new husband Bryan who is 5’8”. These newlyweds unfortunately don’t have the total support of Haleigh’s giant parents. Funny scene occurs when Bryan tries to carry Haleigh over the threshold and drops her. As they negotiate where to put their king size mattress in their new studio apartment, we learn this is their first time living together. Being good Christians, they waited (so they say).
Next up is Katja who is 6’8” and originally from Germany, but now lives in New York City after meeting and marrying her wife Julie who is only 5’2″. Not gonna lie, these two look awkward together. But good news, although these two have all kinds of stigmas, working against them, the requirement of the guy being taller than the girl doesn’t apply to lesbians. They’ve been married for one year, now want a child and are looking for sperm-donors. Men? Care to sign up? So just who would carry the baby? And how tall should the father-donor be? #workinprogress
Meet Lindsay. According to the Guinness Book of World Records she is the tallest woman in the world at 6’9.” Lindsay is an actress who is going back to being a blonde and considering plastic surgery because she’s tired of being confused for a giant Russian woman. To her, being tall is like being famous – without the money. Lindsay hasn’t had a drop to drink in 30 days. But it could be worse. #prostitution. File that under live and learn. Her boyfriend Paul is a 6’6” British guy who loves her new blonde look.
Back at Haleigh’s place, they are getting ready for a visit from her judgmental father and mother. To make money, Haleigh plays professional volleyball, works retail, and works at her father’s construction company. Maybe dad needs a cinderblock dropped on his head. Bryan is a volleyball couch but doesn’t make money and only works party time. When dad arrives he comments about how small the apartment is and refuses to eat there. Bryan had offered to go get food and bring it back. Sure, Bryan just wanted to get away, but mom and dad are also not-so gentle giants and require more space.
In NYC, Katja and Julie are trolling bars looking for potential sperm donors. They’ve both dated men before, so don’t fear the penis, but are on the 6’7” fence for making a baby the old-fashioned way. Katja and Julie also discuss making a baby via turkey baster. Ugh. Are these women sure they’re ready?
It’s Paul birthday and Lindsay is planning a mini-party and will jump out of a big box. But first she has an acting lesson. Her first question is, what does it mean when they tell her to “tone it down.” To me, it means get shorter, but the acting coach says it mean “a lot of energy but no meat and potatoes.” Now I’m even more confused. Lindsay is tired of playing Swedish and Russian women, but the upside is she’ll never have to worry about learning an Asian accent. Let the acting begin – waah waaaa. Maybe Lindsay should go back to wrestling. Just a suggestion.
At lunch, Haleigh’s father wants to know how the couple is going to pay for a place this close to the beach. How are they going to pay for the cell phone bill, insurance, incidentals? Basically what he’s saying is Bryan needs to get a real job. Currently Bryan is only coaching part time, while Haleigh’s has three jobs. If I were her dad I’d be bothered by this, too. I wish Lindsay’s mom would speak up, but she doesn’t. She just sits there.
After the acting lesson, Lindsay meets up with Paul at the bar and is soexcited. Let’s get our drink on. Thirty days of sobriety is 29 days too many. Am I right? Lindsay is wild as they play pool. How about another shot. Or beer. Or anything liquid with alcohol in it. It’s pretty funny seeing Lindsay smoosh a woman’s face into her boobs. So it’s almost time for the giant-in-a-box present for Paul. Here’s the question, can Lindsay act her way out of her box?
Lindsay’s new boob-smooshing friend distracts Paul by flirting with him so she can crawl into a box. Not a good idea because Paul has told Lindsay he misses petite woman – and by petite he means six-feet and under. Okay, so they bring Paul over and Lindsay pops off the top of the box, holding a cake, and sings happy birthday in a breathy Marilyn Monroe fashion. After tackling Paul and crushing the box, he is not impressed and doesn’t kiss Lindsay, then continues to flirt with the petite, 5’6″ girl.
And it ends. The entire episode. No short conclusions. No previews for next week. Very strange, but I recommend watching the show because it will make you feel better about your average height life! There are two more women we didn’t get to meet and one is Coco who has just moved to Austin, Texas. Surely she will find acceptance in the land where everything is bigger and better!
Want more? Read last week’s Random Recap of “Teenage Newlyweds.”