10 Unrealistic Qualities We Look For in a Mate

Great news! A recent study that was unscientifically conducted revealed the top 10 unrealistic qualities men look for in women. Our first response here at MCT was, holy cow, only 10? But when we took a closer look at these so-called “unrealistic qualities” we were able to spot how flawed this list really is. Take a look:

  • Not being a salad kind of girl, but still have a banging body – Salads often have just as many calories as a Big Mac.  Especially once you add the chopped brisket. It’s the person ordering dressing on the side you have to look out for. And for the record, women want men to have banging bodies too.
  • Being wife material while being friends with benefits – What is wife material? She can cook and clean and doesn’t sleep with your friends? Sure. But everyone has needs and it takes time to learn if the person you are boinking will last an entire lifetime. That’s a very long time. And for the record, women want men who are considered husband material as well – meaning they earn a paycheck.
  • Looking natural while still looking sexy – This is subjective. Some men don’t like the “fresh face” and prefer the stripper heels, thick, charcoal eyeliner as skirt so short a woman’s ass is hanging out. He’s only human. And for the record, it’s only natural that some women want a 6-pack, arms like guns, and above average height.
  • Being distant while still showing interest – How to trap a man 101. For example – Only return half of their texts or calls. Show up late to dates. Ask about their day with random inconsistency. Don’t always answer that bootie call (unless they are your FWB). And for the record, emotionally unavailable men are said to be the most fun to chase, then dump, once you capture his undivided attention.
  • Being committed while not wedding crazy – First of all, this goes for both genders. If a man were “wedding crazy” and wanted to pick out the dress and venue, this is a sign your fiancé might be gay. And for the record, women have been dreaming of this day their entire lives. Don’t blame the player, blame the game.
  • Being a guy’s girl while not hanging out with other guys – Okay how else is she going to become the “guy’s girl” if she isn’t hanging out with other guys? What if she doesn’t have seven brothers? And for the record, the only way a girl can really be one of the guys is if she’s a butch lesbian.
  • Being low maintenance while looking high maintenance – This is code for don’t talk about money. Men don’t want to know what you spent on that facial to keep your skin dewy, or that personal trainer to keep your body banging, or the designer clothes required to get his attention, or the psychotherapist when everything you do fails. And for the record, women want a man who drives an expensive car, but once you are in a relationship, she will insist you trade it in for a “practical” car.
  • Caring while not being too involved – This goes without saying. When he’s had a rough day at the office or a lousy game of golf, all that is required is, “Oh sweetie, how can I make it better?” Usually sex will do the trick. Do not offer suggestions to solve his problems. And for the record, women just want to vent (and vent and vent) about their lousy days, too, without their problems being solved. Shopping is the only acceptable suggestion.
  • Keeping men on their toes while not being complicated – The trick for this is to keep the small talk somewhat interesting. Do not update him on your favorite reality TV show and who didn’t get the rose, but also don’t inform him about the latest article you read in The Scientific Mind about breakthrough’s in the debilitating disease of ALS. And for the record, a woman can be smart, just not too smart.
  • Being independent while confirming his masculinity – This is the easiest of all ten. It’s like doing all the grocery shopping, bringing back plenty of beef and beer, but not being able to open the jar of pickles. And for the record, men want to feel needed, even if you could open that jar of pickles by yourself.
10 Unrealistic Qualities We Look For in a Mate
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