90 Day fiance

Welcome back to 90 Day Fiasco – oops – I mean 90 Day Fiancé.  We begin on day 5 in Morocco with Nicole and Azan. Nicole is unhappy with the cultural differences, specifically not being able to show affection in public. Have you ever worn a wool sweater that was three sizes too small? That’s Nicole on Azan. She complains over breakfast about the lack of kissing and holding and smiling and touching. But today is a big day. Nicole will meet his entire family. How do you say trainwreck in Moroccan?


Onto the gold-digger and the sugar-daddy – oops – I mean Anfisa and Jorge. Anfisa will be meeting Jorge’s sister Lourdes for the first time. So why not where the sluttiest dress you own for this special occasion? It’s not like she’s going to like you anyway. Anfisa is nervous because she considers herself a private person. The girl who puts out erotic pictures of herself all over Facebook and wants to be a model, is private? Okay. They join Lourdes on the patio at their hotel. Lourdes politely asks Anfisa if she is using Jorge. Anfisa dodges the question and says she’s looking forward to meeting the other sisters. I can’t wait for that, too! Good times. Lourdes is worried for her brother because she finds Anfisa to be cold – as a Russian winter night all alone.


Next up is Chantel and Pedro and they are 30 days into their K1 visa. It’s spring break and they are taking a break from her family stress and vacationing to Panama City, FL – which Chantel most likely paid for. The play on the beach and have fun in the sun. Chantel wishes her family could understand how much they love each other, because love conquers all, it’s a well-known fact. Pedro no like that Chantel no wear her ring in spring break. He is done with lying and wants her family to know the truth because bad things happen when people lie. We are counting on it!


Next up is Matt and Alla. They are 69 days away from their wedding day and tonight they are entertaining Matt’s best friend and his girlfriend. Only Matt is totally late. And Patrick is totally against this mail-order bride thing, but has promised to be on his best behavior. After an awkward silence Patrick says, “So you’re Matt’s next wife.”


Patrick is skeptical and has no intentions of sugar-coating anything. Matt finally shows up and gets Patrick to grill the steaks. During dinner, Patrick asks Alla if she has the jitters. No, she’s ready to get married, but wants her sister here for the wedding. Anyone else need a wife? Patrick is still doubtful, but his girlfriend Julie is on board for this wedding.

Off we go to meet Azan’s entire family. Nicole is nervous, as she should be. Azan says his family will love her. (Cough, cough) All 7 women are covered from head to toe, no hair showing, and do not speak English. Nicole is wearing shorts, a tee shirt and her blond hair is barely combed. She keeps putting her head behind Azan’s shoulder, pretending to be shy. Mmm-hmm. The girl who flew halfway around the world and stays five weeks to meet a guy is as shy as they come. But the family actually seems to like Nicole. I commend his family for not asking about Nicole’s dowry during the first meeting. Save that for later. Before they go to their separate bedrooms, Nicole requires five more hugs from Azan.


It’ s party time for Chantel and Pedro. Time to hit da clubs. Pedro doesn’t party much in America which is a bait and switch from the guy she knew in the D.R. And Pedro can’t dance, but Chantel can and will with anyone and everyone. Step right up, boys. But this is a problemo for Pedro.  Pedro no like to see other men touching his woman. He hates this very mucho. Chantel wants another drink. Uno mas. She says, “It’sss Sssspring Bwake.” Pedro says no. This Chantel is a bait and switch from the girl he met in the D.R.


Jorge and Anfisa are staying in tonight. They discuss meeting his sister Lourdes and how Anfisa doesn’t like other people knowing their business. Lourdes knows more about them than Anfisa’s own grandmother. He explains that his entire family thinks she’s a mail-order bride who’s just using him. Anfisa doesn’t see the problem with mail-order brides. So what if it brings two people together, and their money. It’s romantic. Jorge doesn’t care what anyone else thinks. He has a hot Russian in his life since no American would put up with him.


Matt and Alla are at lunch discussing living in America. She confesses she’s homesick. She wants some friends and to have fun. Matt suggests going out with Julie to karaoke club. Alla doesn’t sing, she wants to dance. Matt doesn’t want her going to a night club because that’s where Alla met her ex-husband. So Alla says, “Do you want to talk about your past?” Boom! Good one girl. You’re well on your way to becoming an American bitch. Here’s the thing, Matt has trust issues. His first and third wives both cheated on him. No word on what happened with number two. Probably he never caught her.


It’s the next day and Pedro and Chantel are at lunch, talking about last night. Chantel blames Pedro for her behavior at da club for buying her all those drinks. She explains it’s perfectly fine to have fun in da club while on vacation and let other men who aren’t your boyfriend grope you. It’s Spring Break. Pedro says he needs control, because he’s da man. Quick question: if Chantel is the only one with money, who purchased the drinks?


It’s beach time in Morocco. Hopefully Nicole won’t put on a bathing suit…because it’s frowned upon in their culture. She sure likes rubbing her hands on her Arabian prince. Later, at lunch, when Nicole suggests wine, this triggers the secret Nicole and Azan were keeping about Nicole’s past. Here it is: Nicole cheated on Azan. In the few months these two have known each other, Nicole hooked up with another guy. Why did Nicole cheat and why did she admit it? A bottomless pit of need comes to mind. If his family finds out (which they will if they watch this show) they will make Azan choose between Nicole and his family. Nicole promises there won’t be a next time because she now loves him more than ever and ever and ever.


Next time we will finally meet the fifth couple who met after he catfished her! Sounds like they’ll fit in perfectly.

If you missed last week read it here.

RECAP – 90 Day Fiance – Episode 4
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