smiley-1635464_640Breaking News! Money CAN Buy Happiness

This just in, research supports the connection between using your hard-earned cash to improve your life, and thus, buy happiness. But psychologists warn it’s important to know what to spend it on to ensure a happy ending. This “exciting” news has been broken down to explain the why’s and why not’s of money and mood.

Turns out you don’t have to purchase that Porsche to be happy like you thought (though it wouldn’t hurt). When material goals are met, the shelf life for the euphoria is typically six months. That’s why you need to spend your money on things that matter.


“Enriching your life instead of simply “riching” your life is key,” explained the psychologist. “That’s why I get a new girlfriend every six months. It’s all about knowing what matters in life.”

Fun fact: Studies show that individuals who go from earning $25,000 annually to $50,000, double-down on happiness, but when the money is raised to $90,000, there is little marked improvement in attitude. What the heck is going on? Psychologists point to one reason.

“Mo money, mo problems,” he shrugged. “According to our studies, $75,000 is the sweet spot. I need more than that because of my triple-digit college loan debt, but I’ve got a plan called Las Vegas.”

So how do we answer this in-depth question about what makes us happy? Psychologists suggest start by figuring out what you don’t want in life, like marriage, kids, or a giant mortgage. This will eliminate possibilities and narrow your search. Also think of items that money can’t buy, like courage, freedom or peace of mind. Discover if there are ways to spend your money achieving these things.

“This was the most exciting part of the conclusion for me” the psychologist said excitedly. “Traveling to foreign countries covers those three objectives when I go to places like Amsterdam and Hamburg. I can’t wait to go again.”

Missed last week’s satire? Check it out here.

Breaking News! Money CAN Buy Happiness
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