Breaking News! More People Want Marriage; Less Are Doing It
Scientists have discovered “exciting” news in the world of marriage. Studies show that many American’s want to get married, however, the numbers reflect less are doing so. Turns out, when it comes to getting hitched, happiness is often like money – some have it, some don’t – and this is freaking out millennials!
One of the researchers in the study explained, “There’s been a peak in marriage since same-sex marriages were allowed, but there’s also been a peak in divorces. So, it’s not just me and my two divorces adding to the statistics, okay mom. Otherwise the numbers on hetero marriages are lower than ever.”
There are other factors effecting happiness when it comes to today’s marriages like increased life expectancy, dual careers, modern views on partnership, and shared parenting duties. But many scientists and researchers agree the level of expectations for marriage have elevated, making people feel overwhelmed by the new rules.
“You see, hundreds of years ago marriage had a different purpose. We married our cousins to keep the land or animals within the family. Times have changed, but sometimes this can make our partners feel inadequate,” the only female researcher on the project explained. “That’s why I let my boyfriend think he’s smarter than me even though my MIT degree hanging on the wall clearly states he’s not.”
But there is good news for married couples who go the distance. Studies show they are healthier, wealthier, happier and more sexually fulfilled from being together long term and establishing marriage equality.
“This part of the study surprised me,” said one of the researchers. “I mean, what’s marriage equality and why does it take twenty-plus years to achieve it?”
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