Welcome back to 90 Day Fiasco, where no matter how lousy your love-life is, it doesn’t suck as much as these people’s relationships. We begin with Azan and Nicole in Morocco who are still fighting because Nicole does not respect Azan’s culture. She whines to her future mother-in-law that Azan is being a meanie.
Nicole says to Azan, “Even if you’re mad at me, you shouldn’t say those things you said.” Two way dirt street, Nicole. Two way dirt street. When Azan’s family explains that only holding hands in public is acceptable, Nicole pleads ignorance to the culture because she didn’t bother to the Wikipedia page about Azan’s culture.
Over in Atlanta, Chantel and her friend Gigi are secretly looking for wedding dresses. Chantel doesn’t know what her budget is because she’s still lying to her parents about being engaged to Pedro. For a bride to be, Chantel is very sad. She wants her mommy. Her mommy isn’t there. Even the dress clerk thinks this decision is too big to make without telling your parents. Chantel had better do something quickly, there walk down the aisle needs to take place in two weeks.
Next up is Narkyia. She and Lowo are the only couple who are not together yet. And to make things worse, Lowo has fallen off the face of the earth. This is another red flag in a sea of red flags. Finally Lowo calls with the mother-of-all excuses for why he didn’t call to let her know about the visa interview. There’s good news and bad. The good news is Lowo’s application was approved. The bad news is some guy stole his phone and jewelry and that’s why Lowo couldn’t call. You see, you can’t bring metal into the courthouse so Lowo asked some random guy to hold his phone and jewelry. Apparently Lowo is the dumbest guy in Viet Nam. Narkyia doesn’t trust Lowo and wants proof his phone was stolen. WTF? Narkyia’s biggest fear is that Lowo will break her heart. My biggest fear is that Lowo will steal her heart, ruin her credit and empty her bank account.
Anfisa and Jorge have been together for 30 days now. They haven’t set a date yet, but are trying on wedding dresses. Although Jorge hasn’t given Anfisa a budget, she believes mo expensive is mo better. Anfisa asks for the most expensive dress in the store which is $45,000, but first tries on two cheaper ones for under $10,000 each. But Anfisa looks miserable. She wants the expensive one, Daddy! Get it for her now or else there’s no sex for a week when you finally break down and buy the damn dress.
At last, Anfisa tries on the $45K and it’s beautiful. And according to her, she deserves the dress because she deserves beautiful things just because. Jorge looks like he’s about to have a heart attack and now Anfisa is mad at Jorge because he isn’t whipping out the credit card. That’s okay because Jorge digs how bossy Anfisa is. Good thing because he will deal with it Every Single Day for the rest of his life. Or the time they are together, whichever comes first. Jorge tries to say no, but can’t. He made the mistake of telling Anfisa when she came to America she could have whatever she wanted. Apparently he paid with his balls.
Pedro is going to spend quality time working out with Chantel’s dad. Pedro works out every day because Pedro has no job. Chantel’s dad tries to ask about their relationship but Pedro doesn’t comprende vedy, vedy, much. Job? School? Que? Actually Pedro does understand some of the questions but is playing dumb. Then Pedro cuts the workout short because he can’t take the weight of the pressure. Wimp. A lot of good daily work outs is doing him.
Next we hang out with Matt, Alla and little Max as they go shopping for wedding bands. The guy selling the rings makes things more awkward for the couple. Asking questions like where Alla is from and who gets to keep the ring after the divorce. Matt admits this is his fourth time to buy a ring, and in the past he may have acted impulsively, but not this time. No siree. Not at all. This time he’s acting like a rational person who cannot wait to have someone like him and be around him all the time. Alla picks out a ring without any effort.
In the world of Azan and Nicole everything is finally okie-dokie. Nicole is excited to be going on an overnight camping trip in the desert with Azan all alone so she can manhandle him some more. Nicole confesses to Azan that she’s not very outdoorsy. “We are so shocked!” said no one ever. The couple has to ride camels into the desert and Nicole freaks out. Not to worry, she is placed on the strongest camel they have. Nicole is impressed with the abundance of stars in the sky, so that’s something for the self-absorbed twit. However, there is only one tent where they are camping. It’s a big tent, not like the little ones here in America, but this could be trouble. They aren’t supposed to stay together if they’re aren’t married. But Azan is willing to risk it. He is so happy now and thinks Nicole is the one for him. He flashes a very nice engagement ring at the camera and says he’s ready to propose.
Back in Atlanta, Chantel and Pedro are now 12 days away from either getting married or he’s going home. And the two aren’t getting along. They are fighting over household chores. Chantel leaves the vacuuming to Pedro to meet up with Gigi who is the only one who can talk Chantel off the ledge. Gigi points out that it’s cray-cray that Chantel has waited so long to tell her parents and make arrangements. A wedding in a park will be wonderful, but there will be no guests or food or cake or rings because they have no money. Chantel walks off in a huff telling the cameras not to follow. She cries that this is not her dream wedding. Waaa! Life is so unfair when we practice to deceive.
Tune in next week when Chantel breaks the news to her family and Azan and Nicole deal with more issues.
If you missed last week’s episode check it out here.