rattlesnake-159135_640Breaking News! Is There a Connection Between Narcissists & Exotic Pets?

Are you contemplating getting serious with a new love interest and wonder if there’s a quick way to make sure he or she’s not a narcissist? Turns out there’s not. That’s right, someone paid a group of psychologist’s good money to study if there was a possible connection between the narcissist and exotic pets. Their hypothesis was the narcissist would have a propensity for exotic animals because they not only bring attention, but they don’t require constant love and attention like dogs, cats, or humans.

“Our thought process was that snakes were the perfect pet for the narcissist, but we were wrong,” the scientist explained. “Sometimes it’s just because the individual is weird.”

To be clear, two types of narcissism were considered for this study: Grandiose (manipulative with inflated sense of self) and Vulnerable (emotionally volatile with deep insecurities). A 52-item questionnaire was given to 325 pet owners; 217 of the subjects rated their attachments to traditional animals such as dogs, cats, and hamsters, and 108 rated their attachments to lizards, snakes, monkeys, insects, rats, and spiders.

“The results were fascinating,” revealed another researcher. “Plus, this was the easiest money I’ve ever made. I’m hoping to do more in this area like exploring what kind of person likes birds. Seriously, they’re so annoying with all that chirping. What’s up with that?”

Contrary to their hypothesis, as a group, plenty of narcissists have pets and are not any more or less attached to their pets than so-called normal people, so consider that theory debunked.

“Here’s the takeaway,” said the lead psychologist. “The narcissist considers himself the owner of said pet where the more “normal” individual considers their pet to be a member of the family. Think about that the next time you are forced to attend a speed-dating event that your friend drags you to. It’ll save you time and heartache.”

Missed last week’s “Breaking News You Can’t Use?” Check it out here.

Breaking News! Is There a Connection Between Narcissists & Exotic Pets?
Tagged on: