losing-sucksLosing sucks!

This week more people than ever are in a funk and dealing with the shock of a lifetime – and we’re not talking just about the winners – the losers are struggling, too! So what’s a person to do? Especially when you’ve got responsibilities at work, relatives coming over, elaborate meals to make, kids driving you crazy, and you don’t want to get out of bed. Fear not, stunned-one, we have put together a list of techniques to help you conquer the blues.

  1. Stop researching “Places to Live in Canada” on your computers. Accept that you cannot leave and if you did, you’d be back. The average Canadian works until June to pay for taxes while the typical American only works until April. Plus the official Canadian immigration websites keep crashing from excessive traffic.
  2. Start working out every single day. Whether it’s at a gym or in a garden, do this for the next six weeks. The reason is two-fold. First, the endorphins – nature’s opioids – will kick in. And second, when you get in better shape you can feel good about ditching Obamacare.
  3. Participate in non-violent protests. And this goes for everything. Didn’t get a trophy for showing up? Protest. Didn’t get that raise you thought you deserved? Protest. Just figured out that life isn’t fair? Protest. Added bonus: getting off your ass and getting outdoors.
  4. Don’t force yourself out of the blues. Sounds counter-intuitive, right? But it’s true. Sometimes you need to be gentle with yourself and mope around for days on end. If fact, some might suggest that the blues are nature’s way of encouraging you to binge watch Netflix. Get to it. Those shows aren’t going to watch themselves.
  5. Treat your blues to some fun time. This can be done with others or by yourself. Think back to when you didn’t feel like such a loser, what did you enjoy doing? Getting drunk at the local bar? Hitting on the unsuspecting individual who just wants to watch a football game in peace? Waking up in unfamiliar bedrooms? Resume the life you once had before the ridiculous notion that you would prevail.
  6. And finally, try meditation. This. Shit. Works. First, if you are fortunate to live in a state that successfully passed recreational marijuana, eat brownie, sit on the floor, and think about not thinking. Otherwise, a shot of your favorite spirit can put you in the spirit. Repeat the mantra, “This too shall pass” in four years.

Keep in mind the world will continue to spin on its axis. In fact, when that changes, then you can resume feelings of hopelessness. Until then, get over it.

Missed last week’s “Breaking News You Can’t Use?” Check it out here.

Breaking News – Losing Sucks!
Tagged on: