Eat Your Way to a Stronger Brain!

Did you know that Alzheimer’s disease is not about old age – that’s because your brain is declining from the word go. Scientists have discovered “exciting” news in dementia and that is the rapid acceleration of deterioration doesn’t begin until 50! But not only is there a way of slowing it down, there’s a way to stop dementia in its tracks.

“I’m 57,” confirmed one of the scientists, “and I haven’t noticed any decline at all, even though the data clearly shows otherwise. It might have something to do with where a person…umm, wait, what was I going to say?”

The good news is the prevention doesn’t entail costly and exotic treatments, rather every day cognitive changes will do the trick. Turns out the magic bullet is two-fold: diet and moderate exercise. And it’s equally important what we ingest as when we ingest.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone knows we need to eat more vegetables,” said a man attending a mandatory health seminar through his employer. “But who knew that I had to fast for at least 12 hours while I sleep. First of all, my midnight snack of beef jerky makes this damn near impossible. I mean, it’s not like I can wait until noon to eat my fried eggs while I’m eating my fried catfish for lunch. That would be crazy.”

And forget about those government based dietary guidelines. Did you know that ketchup was once proposed as a vegetable serving? Individuals who follow these inadequate guidelines from our government will not fare well because they are only calculated to avert nutrient deficiencies.

“I like ketchup,” said a seven year-old attending the discussion because his mommy couldn’t find a baby-sitter. “And my favorite activity is kick-ball, so by my calculations I’m smarter than my mom because all she does is sit around, waiting for some weird guy to show up.”

Here’s the take away, even though scientist have no clue what the perfect dietary formula is that humans should consume, there are some stock items that should be kept in your kitchen. Sardines, kale, cabbage, almonds, carrots, blueberries, chickpeas and extra-virgin olive oil.

“Or do what I do when pressed for time,” said the scientist. “Throw them all in a blender and press liquefy.”

If you missed last week’s “Breaking News You Can’t Use” check it out here.

Breaking News! Eat Your Way to a Stronger Brain
Tagged on: