The Lessons of Lopsided Love

What is lopsided love? According to scientists, exactly what it sounds like – a commitment mismatch between romantic partners. But here’s the “exciting” news learned from a new study: only 35% of the couples sampled in the survey were dealing with unleveled love. The study also showed couples were “most likely” to split if the less invested partner was female.

“So what that means,” explained one of the researchers, “is women still like bad boys who ignore them and treat them badly. One step forward, three steps back.”

In order to delve deeper into this very complicated journey of mismatched commitments, researchers looked into the couples’ bedrooms. That’s right, the temperature in the bedroom is a “very important” component to understanding a couple’s dynamics and inner workings.

“We kept the questionnaire relatively simple to qualify for the study,” explained the lead scientist. “The question was, were they having sex more than once a month? This confused some, but after it was explained the count could include times they cheated, the study was back on track.”

The information discovered was a “surprise.” Couples were willing to work on many parts of their relationship, like communication, substance abuse, depression, loss or anger, but not sex. The study showed people feel that sex should just come naturally and couples shouldn’t have to work on it. Not so, say the scientists.

“Get a freaking book, people,” said the only female researcher. “Yes, there is an instinct to procreate, but aside from doing it like people in porn, it wouldn’t hurt to educate yourself on what really works.”

Here’s the good news. In order to be considered as having a good sex life, all you need to do is check the “satisfactory” box on the form and you can consider yourself “normal.” The takeaway, according to the scientists, is when your love is lopsided, if you have a satisfactory sex life, things just might work out.

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Breaking News! The Lessons of Lopsided Love
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