Top 10 Secrets From Fat Camp

With the summer season upon us, it’s time to shed those extra pounds so we don’t look like slobs in a swimsuit. Thank goodness for the food-challenged kids who’ve been sent away to these institutions camps that we may apply the same skills to our everyday lives. These recommendations may seem out of the box, and that’s because they were developed for kids, not adults, but why not give them a try. Let’s face it, when it comes right down to it, we act like children when it comes to our eating habits. Here are the top 10 secrets:

  • Shame and Humiliation – Enough cannot be said about this one. The beauty of this task, the shame and humiliation can either come from ourselves or from other people. And if you have a skinny photo of yourself (preferably in a bathing suit), be sure to put it on your refrigerator so others can be prompted to say, “Wow, you used to be skinny.”
  • Go Half-Way in the Beginning – Yes! Something we can accomplish. I love it when I only have to give 50%. In fact, my 50% resembles 55% or 60%. It’s the same philosophy of giving everyone a trophy, all you have to do is show up, and you are a winner.
  • Keep Your Focus on Actionable Goals – In other words, don’t say you want to be a size 6 when you are a size 36. Unless your goal is to save money for a gastric sleeve, then focus, focus, focus on getting a second job to pay for it.
  • Listen to What Your Body Wants to Eat – Okay I have a problem with this one. What if your body keeps telling you it wants pizza? Seems like you would want to ignore this recommendation and your body. For those who have loud and obnoxious bodies like me, when you hear pizza, eat kale instead…if you can.
  • Be Practical, Not Perfect – This is great advice to put into play everywhere in our lives. You know that Hermes bag you want? Get the Michael Kors. Same with the Christian Louboutin shoes. Jessica Simpson is much more practical. And when you’ve lost the weight, you won’t have to compensate with these over-priced items. Bonus!
  • Move! – Not necessarily where you live, but if searching for homes, packing up your house and unpacking at a new place is your kind of exercise, who are we to judge? For everyone else, it just means at the very least, take a walk.
  • Track It – It’s important to write it down what you eat so you can see where your strength and weaknesses are. For example, if it’s between 3:00 and 4:00 pm and you know you should eat the apple slices, but the microwave popcorn with movie theater butter smells so good drifting down the office hallway, you’ll know ahead of time to fake a stomach ache and go to the bathroom.
  • Find a Group of Supporters – This task is definitely the most difficult. Who’s got time to go to a meeting and talk about food? Especially when you should be home preparing healthy lunches and snacks for the entire week so there are no temptations or excuses to go to Buffalo Wild Wings with your work pals because you didn’t make your lunch because you were at a meeting talking about your relationship with food.
  • Meet Your Water Quota by Dinner Time – Sounds easy, right? Wrong! The typical 8 ounces of water is for thin people. If you are overweight, you are required to drink more. And if you are dehydrated after a night of drinking, oy vey, the amount of water you need to consume could fill a child’s swimming pool. Just always have a water bottle in your hand and drink and repeat.
  • Workout in the Morning – Yuck. I get it. There’s hardly any time after hitting the snooze button six times, but the morning workout gives your metabolism a much needed kick in the butt. Try not hitting the snooze button that last time and do as much as exercise you can for five minutes.

So that’s the Top 10, can you feel the weight coming off already? There is one more task you could do if you’re lucky enough to have a friend like this. When kids first arrive at camp, a counselor will generally go through there things to make sure there are no hidden bags of potato chips, chocolate bars or cookies the camper is trying to sneak in. Ask a friend to be your camp counselor and throw everything out of your house that’s an evil temptation to unhealthy calories. And make sure they check under the mattress.

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