Random Thoughts & Weird Happenings

July 4th Edition

With Fourth of July fast approaching, I did what every proud American does to get ready to celebrate our Nation’s independence from England 241 years ago, I went to the liquor store.

We were having friends over for dinner and drinks and my purpose was to get two things: Kettle One Vodka and stuff to make hurricanes. The dinner was Cajun themed, so like any good host I made sure we had a novelty drink to kick things off.

Anyway, as I entered Spec’s Liquor store I stopped for just the briefest of seconds to gather my bearings. Vodka was on the left side of the store and the hurricane stuff was on the right. Out of nowhere this old guy who just made a purchase comes over with his bag full of alcohol, and tells me how pretty my toes are. Eww. One of those creepy foot fetish drunks. Great. Then he tells me he likes the color of my polish. They were red for the 4th of July, but now they felt tarnished.

I was so grossed out and shocked, but I said thanks and walked away. Grr. Five minutes later I was so mad at myself for not telling that whack job to fuck off. But I was so caught off guard. Plus, I live in South. We are required to say thank you during an injustice. I told no one about this encounter for a few days, I was o embarrassed. Lots of people probably have weird experiences every day at liquor stores. But it continued to gnaw at my gut. Why didn’t I tell him at the very least to get lost,?

So I go check out and pay for my bottle of vodka and a jug of hurricane mix. (I’m set for the season!) I open the door and hold it for the person walking up. It’s a woman, thirty-something who approaches and says, “HI!” real aggressive like. I’m pretty sure I flinched. She wasn’t hitting on me, at least I don’t think so, more like she just needed a friend to drink with. I’ll pass.

I’d like to say that in the future if this were to happen to me again I would remember to say, “Did I ask you how nice my toes are? No. Go away.” But I can’t guarantee it. These days the guy could shank me outside. Perhaps the best way is to enter, keep walking and don’t make eye contact with anybody. Probably I’ll just go to a different liquor store, but who knows. Weird happenings could happen again.

Happy 4th of July!

Missed last week’s Random Thoughts? If you can’t take a joke, don’t remodel! Check it out here.

Random Thoughts & Weird Happenings – July 4th Edition
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