The World’s Insane Asylums are Filled with Ph.D.’s

Scientist have discovered “exciting” news about mental illness. Turns out there’s a link between being a genius and being a crazy person. Studies show that health disorders such as depression, bi-polarism, and schizophrenia are more likely associated with individuals who have a high IQ, typically over the 140 benchmark of genius.

One therapist wrote that the definition of a “true genius” is an individual whose mind is not merely balanced between autistic and psychotic, but an over-development of both. No wonder the over 140 crowd are filling up the mental facilities – there’s a lot of pressure when you’re brilliant!

One of the participants had this to say about her experience with a genius family member. “So when it comes to my great aunt who has tea every afternoon with Jesus, we prefer to use the term, eccentric. Plus, on the off chance she really is talking with him, I don’t need to piss Jesus off by not believing her.”

After finding a link between high IQ and mental health issues, the next step for scientists was to discover why this is occurring. This is where scientists become divided. The problem, the idea of creativity and the ability to measure it are subjective.

“Here’s something weird,” said one of the lab techs, “Kids who make all A’s are at a higher risk for bi-polarism. Hear that mom? Making a few B’s makes me normal. Not stupid.”

But what about the school of thought that artists need to suffer to obtain their creative edge? Many famous intellects, theorists, and pontificators have hotly debated this topic. Were artist Vincent Van Gogh, mathematician John Nash and writers Emily Dickinson and Ernest Hemingway more creative because they were bi-polar? Many scientists say no, explaining that if these individuals had access to today’s pharma culture benefits, they would still remain intelligent.

The researcher cleared his throat. “However, they would no longer be able to have sex or create such imaginative plots or paintings in an manic fit because their minds would be mush.”

So what’s a brilliant person to do if they don’t want to be numb to the world from the effects of pills? Some researchers point to reclusivity and detachment as a way to cope in today’s hyperbolic and competitive world. This is especially beneficial to individuals who are considered “psychotic.”

“Someday I’m going to leave the city and live off the grid in nautre,” explained a scientist with an IQ of 160. “The voices in my head keep telling me pollution is the real killer.”

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Breaking News! The World’s Insane Asylums are Filled with Ph.D.’s
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