Are You a Collector or a Hoarder? Who Cares!

Have you ever walked into someone’s home who had every available square inch filled with knickknacks that you felt as if the walls were closing in?  If you looked deeper would you also find a messy desk and an over-booked calendar? Scientists have discovered “exciting” news in the world of clutter control. A recent study has revealed when people have too much “crap” they tend to have more stress and less satisfaction in their lives.

“Here’s the thing,” explained one of the researchers, “just because you have a lot of items, doesn’t make you a hoarder. And it’s perfectly normal for a grown man to have every Beanie Baby ever made. It’s called an investment. Everyone knows the stock market’s going to crash any day now.”

The difference between collecting and hoarding is when the clutter becomes uncontrollable and the “crap” takes over your life, creating chaos and health hazards. Many individuals may feel they need these items because they bring meaning to their lives, but this can indicate deep-rooted problems such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, extreme loneliness, or just plain cray-crayness. Often times the significance of these objects are blown out of proportion.

“That’s not true at all,” stated one of the participants in the study. “The dolls I collect are like my children. I talk to them all the time. And some times they talk back – but then they get put in time out. I don’t put up with no sass talk.”

The study, which consisted of nearly 1,500 adults labeled as “organizationally challenged,” were asked to rate how at ease they felt in their homes on a day-to-day basis. Turns out, disorder and untidiness negatively affected their scores. Where as not giving a crap about the “crap” positively affected their scores.

“Basically it comes down to how packed their homes are,” said the lead scientist. “If they have one good chair to rest in and a pathway to the front door in case of fire, people seemed content. Of course they could just be lying. It’s a simple questionnaire with 25 questions.”

But hold onto your masks, the most “exciting” news discovered in the study was that hoarding did not increase creativity as many, many hoarders like to claim non stop. In fact the opposite was found to be true. Also notable, neuroticism scored higher in hoarders while conscientiousness scored lower.

“This is hardly Earth-shattering news,” said the janitor who cleans the lab. “Besides you should see how sloppy some of these so-called intelligent scientists are. Would it kill them to throw away one of their dozens of Red Bull cans?”

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Breaking News! Are You a Collector or a Hoarder? Who Cares!
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