Rudeness Finger-Pointing Reaches Epidemic – How Rude!
No question we are living in an era of political correctness. The requirement that we absolutely not offend anyone is a constant daunting task. Whether it’s in the work place or at a social setting, there’s a risk in proclaiming your opinion because someone may not agree with it. For shame! Once this could have actually brought about an interesting conversation as people discussed the merits and shortcomings of a particular point of view.
But now we’ve crossed a line. I came across this article today entitled “20 Ways You Are Being Rude.” Twenty? Really? Can’t we just talk about the top five? Nope, we can’t. Obviously with 20 ways to be rude, statistically speaking, we are rude several times a day. Here they are so you can see how far the ridiculous pendulum has swung.
- Complimenting someone on their new look – Heaven forbid you do this! I mean they’ve gone to the trouble of losing weight/getting a new hairstyle/mixing up their wardrobe, but hey, let’s not mention it because what if we offend them that they look better than the last time we saw them.
- Asking “How’s it going?” at a funeral – Sometimes common sense should prevail. If you’re saying this to the person who just lost their loved one, it’s pretty obvious how things are going. However it’s okay to say this to other people. Lots of people don’t know what to say during times of grief, and the fact that you showed up, speaks volumes. And if you’re holding a casserole you can say any dumb thing you want.
- Offering unsolicited advice – Come on. When a friend has just dumped drama in our laps, naturally we want to help. Professionals say that we should ask for permission before giving our unsolicited advice so they know it’s coming. But don’t underestimate the power of listening, nodding, and saying, “Let me know if I can help.”
- Saying “I’ll call you” – This is mostly directed at men. It’s their closing tag line when they don’t know what else to say. It’s another form of “take care” or “have a nice life” depending on the temperature of the date. It’s perfectly okay to roll your eyes when you hear this.
- Giving directions when you’re not driving – Sometimes you just have to say, who the fuck cares if this is rude? I mean seriously. If you know a better way to get to the destination, speak up, especially if the driver is lost. This is annoying at best, but not rude.
- Congratulating someone on their pregnancy – This is only rude if the person you are saying it to isn’t pregnant, otherwise, it’s rude to not ask how a pregnant woman is feeling. Can’t win here, folks.
- Guessing someone’s age – Why would anyone do this unless they worked at a carnival and there is a chance to win a prize? However, if you are minding your own business and someone asks you to guess their age, aim low.
- Saying “On my way!” when you aren’t – Hey, what do you know? This one is rude.
- Putting yourself in someone else’ shoes – Back to Stupidville. Isn’t this how we teach compassion to children? We teach them to put themselves in one others’ shoes. We say to Johnny, “How would you like it if your father just got fired from his very important news job and everyone in the whole world knew about it?” There you go, Johnny. You’ve just learned about compassion.
- Asking someone why they’re still single – No one really asks this, do they? Isn’t this more of a come-on. Like this, “Hey baby, why are still single?” They don’t care why the person is single and the other person has no idea why they are single. So it’s not rude, it’s just foreplay.
- Saying you’re little boy/girl is so handsome/pretty – Now I’ve heard everything! Now it’s rude to compliment a baby? Are you serious? The article said due to parents not cutting their kids’ hair or gender neutral names like Kale and/or Emery, there’s a good chance you’ll get it wrong. Good! I say. Cut your kids’ hair and give him or her a damn name that won’t get them beat up on the playground.
- Doing the dishes at someone else’s house – I just want to say, guests who come over for a meal, you are free to do my dishes. You don’t even need to ask first, like the article suggests. And if the need to sweep or mop compels you, give in and have at it.
- Being too honest – This is a slippery slope. Let’s say your friend is cheating on his or her spouse. How honest should you be? Unless you have video proving this, don’t risk it. It is okay to point them in a general direction like recommending couples counseling or to follow their head, not their heart, but nothing else unless it’s family and they are bound by blood.
- Offering someone your seat on the bus – OMG! How is this even remotely rude? And I’m not saying if the person is elderly or pregnant it’s okay, I’m saying it’s always okay to offer your set. The other person then has the ability to decline or accept this good deed (and it is a good deed). If you are the type of person that walk off the subway declaring someone was a jerk for offering their seat to you, I don’t want to know you.
- Saying okay when you haven’t heard the question – Okay.
- Ordering for someone at a restaurant – This has never really happened to me before. Even when I’m at a new restaurant and I ask what’s good, the other person usually will suggest a few things. Once I decide which one I want, I have no problem if that person gives my order to the waiter. But people be cray cray and I’m sure there’s people who don’t like this. Whatev – life’s too short.
- Trying to save face for someone else – I wasn’t sure what this meant. The example given was telling someone they have spinach in their teeth or toilet paper stuck to the bottom of their shoe. This isn’t rude. This is embarrassing. For both people. But in the end, the person with unzipped fly or lipstick on their teeth will appreciate you for it.
- Getting too personal too quickly – This isn’t rude, it’s unwise.
- Paying for someone else – Hahahahaha. Funny, right. Jeeeeez. Okay, if it’s little things like a drink or a meal, it’s very nice because it encourages reciprocity. But yes, there are those obnoxious rich people who like everyone to know they’ve just covered a big ticket item for you. The article said you should ask permission before doing this, but just make it around the holidays or birthdays and it’s all good.
- Not correcting someone who gets your name wrong – WTF? How are we the rude ones? Shouldn’t the person getting your name wrong be the rude one? And let me tell you, people get my name wrong all the time because it’s unremarkable, but I only correct half of them. Sometime you don’t care if they get your name wrong because you have no intentions of ever seeing them again.
So what it rude of me to write this blog post? I mean, let’s just walk around in bubble wrap already. Missed last week’s “Breaking News You Can’t Use?” Check it out here.