How to Handle Thanksgiving with a Sense of Humor

(And Not Kill Anyone)

We have officially entered the holiday season!

And for many, this time of year can be stressful, especially when it seems as if the world is in extreme disarray. This can make having dinner with family downright depressing. Here are some tips that will (hopefully) help you make it through the first part of the holiday season known as Thanksgiving.

  • Tell yourself it’s just another Thursday with good food and football. It’s okay to down play the historical significance of the Pilgrims dining with the Indians. I’m pretty sure their Thanksgiving was fraught with conversation pitfalls, too.
  • If you don’t want to go to someone’s house because of a potentially toxic situation, don’t go. You don’t have to be treated poorly because tradition says so. Start your own tradition, one where you can be appreciated. Also, don’t invite people you don’t like – even if they are family.
  • Bring a gag gift. If you are one of those people who bring a hostess gift (like me) bring something fun. Screw the typical flowers or wine. How about glow-in-the-dark beer pong. That’ll give them something to talk about. Obviously know your audience. Grandma may not approve of drinking games, but there’s something fun for everyone.
  • Serve Thanksgiving dinner to the less fortunate. Are you raising a bunch of entitled punks? Mending a broken heart because your loser boyfriend dumped you for the holidays? Focusing your energy on the greater good make you feel better. Not to mention you really get the meaning of Thanksgiving by the simple fact that you are doing the giving instead of the receiving.
  • When sending out email or text invites, make sure to clarify those with picky eating requirements they need to bring their own food. If Aunt Jane is a vegan or if little Joe is allergic to just about everything, don’t be held hostage to other people’s diet demands. Just tell them to bring their own dish.
  • If hosting dinner, have the meal ready on time. I cannot stress this enough. When people get hangry they become sarcastic, kids act up and couples bicker. It’s okay to wait 15 minutes for those who are always late, but dig in because, oh well, they knew what time dinner was being served.
  • Have a few new movies recorded or make a Red Box run before guests arrive. Again know your audience. If little kids are going to be there, don’t get something that requires intense focus. Light and fun are on the menu. Of course, there will be that one person who says they’ve seen everything (and hated it), but who cares about that person. Why are they there? Hand them a spiked drink.
  • Establish a no discussing politics zone. The only thing we can agree on is that we don’t agree with how to properly run this country. We all have different ideas and are entitled to them, even idiots
  • Say grace, but just one prayer that is simple and blesses everyone and everything. The end. Dig in. Sometimes people like to sneak in ways to shame or guilt people, like those who couldn’t be there. It just means more leftovers, which is a good thing.
  • If you have kids, bring snacks for them, but no sugar. Sometimes there’s no hors d’oeuvres or if there are, they aren’t kids friendly. Bring something that’s sure to be a hit for the kids and you will get the title of coolest family member/friend ever!

I hope everyone has a nice Thanksgiving that doesn’t involve counting to ten or turning your knuckles white.

Gobble, gobble, y’all!

How to Handle Thanksgiving with a Sense of Humor
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